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Week 11 of my 12 Week Online Program for Women Struggling with Food deals with the issue of Temptation. We are discussing this on the Members Forum this week. Come learn how you can find victory in those moment when you are tempted.
Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson:
How do you find victory in your WEAK MOMENTS?
I wanted to share this excerpt out of the new Breaking Free Bible Study by Beth Moore with you:
“God has reserved momentous victories and great rewards for us. But we’ll never make it to our milestones if we cant’ make through our moments“
Isn’t that so true?
We set these milestones and we even have faith for it – but then we get to that ‘MOMENT”, that excruciating moment of temptation or weakness, and we cave… and then we lose hope…
SO HOW DO WE GET THROUGH OUR WEAK MOMENTS?
Beth goes on to say that 2 reasons exist that we don’t take the “exit” God offers in our weak moments (1 Cor 10:13)
1. We don’t want to
2. We don’t feel like we deserve to
We have to ask God in that MOMENT:
“God I don’t want to stop eating, but please change my WANT TO”
or
“God I don’t think I deserve healthy food/taking care of my body, but please help me see that I am a princess of the only true King and I do deserve it”
If you have been following along on our MEMBERS FORUM, you will know that I am struggling at this time in my life with “keeping my mouth under control”. Our family life has become very challenging because (as I mentioned before) my husband and I have a few businesses that we now run from home, and I’m still homeschooling two of my kids. So I tend to lose my temper and reach for some unhealthy snacks in those very stressful or weak moments during the day.
Sometimes it’s totally a “I just don’t want to” thing like Beth mentioned, and I’ve been crying out to God to change my heart’s desires in those times.
However, sometimes I even “want to”, and plan to do the right thing, but when I get to that MOMENT… I just DON’T!
Paul speaks about this struggle in his own life, and he concludes that it is indeed ONLY GOD who can saves us and help us overcome in those times.
So what can we do if we even want to do the right thing, but we DON’T?
I will tell you about the only thing that has worked for me even in the hardest of times:
I have to recognize that my thoughts of “it doesn’t matter” or “what difference does it make” in those weak moments is LIES OF THE ENEMY. He knows my weakness and he will present those lies to me every time I feel stressed or weak – FOR AS LONG AS I BELIEVE IT TO BE JUST MY OWN LITTLE THOUGHTS.
So we have to first of all SPOT THE LIES – those are not your thoughts, and most certainly NOT YOUR WANTS – and then RUN INTO GOD’S PRESENCE. Listen girl, you will only find victory in those weak moments if you get out of that situation and find a place to pray. Rebuke the enemy and read those note cards with God’s truth out loud so your ears can hear the truth. The Bible says that in God’s presence the veil is stripped away, and as we look into the truth of His Word, we are changed (Go read this in 2 Corinthians 3: 16-18)
But what if you have 20 weak moments a day?
Don’t worry, even though daily time in God’s presence is the only way to remain free, you will not have to run and pray 20 times a day for the rest of your life. BUT FOR NOW – LET’S FACE IT – THAT MIGHT BE WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.
If you feel yourself going around in that cycle of making promises to yourself to do better, even wanting to do better, and then failing every day at that same weak moment… THEN IT’S TIME TO SURRENDER YOURSELF TO GOD, RESIST THE ENEMY, AND HE WILL FLEE FROM YOU (James 4:7)
Please go read again WEEK 2 and WEEK 11 of my 12 Week Online Program for women with eating disorders if you have forgotten (or didn’t realize) that you’re not just fighting your own FLESH but also a very real enemy. I talk about these issues in greater detail there, and also give you some tools to find victory in those weak moments.
The following passage of Scripture underlines it all:
1 Peter 5:6-10 (New International Version, ©2011)
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
In His Love
Heleen
PS: I highly recommend Beth Moore’s Bible Study “Breaking Free” – it is life changing! Find a group near you or start a small group yourself, it is so much more effective if you do it with the accountability of other women.
Posted 6 months, 3 weeks ago. Add a comment
We’ve just completed Week 9 on the forum that deals with PEOPLE PLEASING and CONTROL. If you find yourself reaching for food because of stress and turmoil in your relationships then this week might clear up a lot of issues for you. Please have a look at my 12 Week Online Program to find out more.
Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson:
This past weekend I was reminded that self-control and controlling other people can not co-exist in my life. I was getting anxious about situations in our family and fell back into my old pattern of controlling people and circumstances.
Of course I’m pretty good at “whipping” everything and everybody into shape, but things started unraveling fast inside of me. I was restless. I wanted to eat all sorts of things and I was avoiding God.
Fortunately I’ve learned, through much tears and many heartaches, to recognize these patterns in myself.
So I was back at the drawing board with God:
The Bible clearly says that self-control is part of the Fruit of the Spirit and “should” thus be part of every spirit filled Christian’s life. According to John 15 we will bear much fruit (including self-control) if we are plugged into the vine (Jesus). So having self-control means staying close to God, OBEYING GOD, and daily asking the Holy Spirit to fill us and give us control of ourselves.
However, no where in the Bible will you find any kind of command or even an indication that we are suppose to control other people and circumstances.
Now if you are immediately thinking “I’m not a control-freak” you might want to first read the following to make sure:
Controlling can be blatant or subtle. Trying to please people and keep everybody happy doesn’t seem like control, but by always pleasing others we actually try to control the way they see us, or even what they think of us.
Controlling others has a nasty side affect: It robs us of our self-control. If we learn to give the people and things that we can not really control over to God, we have enough peace to build and work on our relationship with God and as a result we see the fruit of the Spirit show up in our lives..
You girls know me by now: I want to know how it works in real life!
I’m seeing how every time I choose to give control over to God, I have more peace, more time (by not obsessing about others) and more self control.
Try it…next time you feel like controlling or pleasing someone else, ask God what you’re suppose to do. Something like this “Am I suppose to control/please this person Lord? Which part of this is my job and which is Your job?”
Okay, so I know it’s not that easy: What do you do with the anxiety, the pain and the stress surrounding the relationships you are currently trying to control?
Women have so much more stress that’s related to relationships than men. We want to fix everyone’s problems and keep everybody happy. But at what price? We loose control of our own lives!
One of the things I found that works wonders for this kind of stress: Girl friend time!
Get into a group or ask God to help you find friends with whom you can be real. I found that it’s easier to join a woman’s Bible study or a support group. The kind of”realness” that we all desperately need usually starts in these kind of groups, and lots of times it flows over into lifetime friendships.
God gave us each other, and nobody understands the needs, stress and worries of a woman like another woman. Please find a place where you can talk about the stress in your relationships.
Most women I know constantly put their own needs and wants on the back burner. So I guess it’s almost “normal”, but it doesn’t mean that we can keep doing it without damage to our lives. Our anxiety sometimes reach such high levels that we start looking around for a crutch such as food, alcohol, pornography or drugs.
Do you feel that you have little or no self-control left?
Please have a look at your relationships and circumstances. You might have the best of intentions in controlling people and circumstances, but it still robs you from the ability to control your own self.
Find a quiet place today where you can think and talk to God about control. If you give the control back to God you will feel peace come back to your life. In the light of that peace, you will be able to talk to Him more openly, and He will tell you why He created you in the first place
Don’t think for one minute that this is selfish. The most wonderful gift you can give your family and friends is to start taking care of your own wants and needs (spiritual, emotional and physical). If you do that, you will regain your self-control and will be able to sow love into their lives without controlling them.
I don’t say this lightly. I have to remind myself daily that by controlling others I am robbing myself of self-control. I need all nine parts of the fruit of the Spirit desperately in my life, so I keep giving the control that belongs to God back to Him…
From a ex control-freak
Heleen
Here are some resources for you:
We’ve just finished up Week 6 on the forum – this week deals with exposing the lies of the enemy and the world around us, which tend to shape the way we view ourselves. It also helps you to pick up the truth of God’s Word and start viewing yourself as the Princess of God who you truly are.
Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson:
The BIG issue of INSECURITY!
I must admit, I’m blessed beyond what I’ve imagined by Beth Moore’s latest book “So Long Insecurity:You’ve been a bad friend to us”
She said so many profound things, but one simple sentence hit me hard: “Worship in it simplest form is FOCUS”
I keep reminding all of you wonderful ladies that our focus needs to change from WEIGHT LOSS to HEALTH if we ever want to get out of this nightmare of eating disorders.
However, reading this book and looking at my own life, made me realize that there is more. There is a “deeper level” if you will.
Our focus will probably never shift from WEIGHT LOSS to HEALTH if we don’t first move our focus from OURSELVES to GOD.
Beth speaks about a deep insecurity that plagues the lives of so many. I’ve known this to be true in my own life and almost every lady I’ve encountered that has a struggle with food. Deep down at the bottom of our beings lies an insecurity that drives us to please others, to strive for perfection, to stay in control of our surroundings and the people we love, and to maintain or reach a certain weight AT ALL COST! Way too much stress and pressure for one person! No wonder that same person will reach for the cookie jar at the end of the day to quiet the voice that tells her “You will never be good enough!”
The vicious cycle of eating disorders literally gets fueled by insecurity day after day.
I think the main reason I like Beth so much is her honesty. I marvel at how she just comes out with the truth about her life, and it always inspires me to put the “mask” aside and tell the truth as well.
I would so have loved to have pictures everywhere on my blog of me in a number 4 jeans and a tiny T-shirt that says “I beat eating disorders”. I would also love to tell you that I have not had any negative thoughts or overate in 20 years. But this is my insecurities talking…because the truth is that I’ve been able to write on here and keep this website and forum running because my not-so-perfect body, and not-so-perfect life is a daily reminder that I need God. When I eat healthy, exercise daily, and keep God my #1 focus, then nothing in my life looks quite like the media and our society portrays “perfection”. God’s idea of HOLY is light years away from the world’s idea of PERFECT. It might not include that small dress you wore in high school, and it might not include the perfect family you see on TV, but it WILL include a life of abundance that the Bible promises..a life that really matters… a life that is truly secure in God and as a result glorifies Him.
I have been truthful with you ladies about where I’m at: I have been free from bulimia for almost 10 years now, as well as from binge eating, but I do have times where I turn to food for comfort because of the stress caused by an old familiar pang of insecurity.
I am so grateful for this book, because as she rightly says, people don’t talk about it. So many men and women suffer from a deep sense of insecurity and we try to find security anywhere and everywhere, but it is NO WHERE EXCEPT IN CHRIST.
I don’t know why we always have to search for it in so many places and why we almost always have to find ourselves in a deep pit before we finally put our security in Christ, but it’s definitely true for most of us.
Looking for security in a mate, in appearance, in status, in marital bliss, in education, in family, in children, in financial stability, in position at church, in fame, in the perfect job, in beauty, or in a thin body…IS FUTILE!!
In chasing any of the above our FOCUS STAY ON OURSELVES and NOT ON GOD! This FOCUS ON SELF can come in the form of SELF CONFIDENCE or SELF LOATHING.
Think about it like this:
If we remain focused on ourselves...will we ever be able to not worry about our weight, even at a size 2?
If we remain focused on ourselves…will we ever be satisfied with our house, kids and husbands the way they are without trying to control them?
If we remain focused on ourselves…will we ever be able to just love people (especially women) and not see them as rivals?
If we remain focused on ourselves…will we ever be able to give of ourselves to others and in ministry, regardless of how we look on the outside?
WORSHIP IN IT SIMPLEST FORM IS FOCUS…
What or who do you focus on?
What or who do you in fact WORSHIP?
It shook me to the core these past day. I still focus way too much on ME, and as a result I focus on the things that I think will bring me security.
GOOD NEWS LADIES! This journey that we are on have already steered us in the right direction. It all points to GOD as the only source of healing, comfort and yes…security. I’ve written a lot about it in Week 6 of my program. However, I have learned much from this book. It nudged me a little further along on this healing journey.
That said, DON’T EVER THINK THAT ONE THING YOU READ, LEARNED, OR HEARD FROM GOD ALONG THIS JOURNEY WAS FOR NOTHING. The day you’ve given your food struggle to Him and prayed your first prayer was the day He started bringing various forms of healing, truth, and breakthrough into your life. Your chains are falling off one by one as you daily draw closer to your only Source of security girl!
I’m excited for you ladies to also read this book once you’re done with the program or when you get to Week 6. It’s a very practical book and she gives steps to start dealing with the insecurity in our lives immediately. It would be fun to talk more about it on the forum as well.
Love you ladies!
Heleen
Click here to also read the follow-up on this post: Hanging with the Girls
My 12 Week Online Program for Women struggling with Food might be an option for you if you need help to break free from Food Addiction. Please go have a look, your life matters to God. He is waiting to heal you and help you clear up the “brain fog” so you can enjoy life again.
PS: We are a group of about 30 ladies who are walking out this journey on the forum. It’s not too late to join in or just read along. Here is a link to the Members Forum.
If you are not a member you might be interested to click here for my FREE EBOOK: “God will I ever be free?”
Click here if you want more information on becoming a member: 12 Week Online Program for women who struggle with eating disorders and food addiction
Posted 7 months, 3 weeks ago. Add a comment
I regret that I have not been able to get to my blog much because of a way too busy life. I apologize to all you ladies who are faithfully reading my blogs.
I’m praying for the season to change, but for now the answers I receive are more along the lines of God changing my heart and not so much the season (sounds familiar?) I’m afraid yours truly are always in need so of some more open heart surgery under the skillful hands of the Master Surgeon.
I’m really not complaining, on the contrary, it’s a good season even though it’s difficult. I’ve been stretched and grown in directions I didn’t even realize existed. My husband is still working from home and we have our hands full with balancing work, home school, and just life in general.
I’ve been wanting for a while now to answer a question on here that many of you have asked and that I have pondered on and researched for many years:
Why do some women break free and others don’t? Why can a group of women go through my program, or through 21 days of detox on the forum and some are victorious while others just can’t seem to make it.
Now, there is of course no easy answer to this. Some ladies have deep layers of abuse and pain from their past that first need to be revealed and healed by Jesus Himself. Others have a root of bitterness and unforgiveness that prevents them from growing in God or moving forward in any area of their lives. This can only be fixed by a healthy dose of repentance and falling in love with the One who knows how to break the hardest heart and heal the deepest pain.
The question remains though: What if you’ve dealt with your past and you’ve let God into all those hurtful places, but you’re still not free from this devastating bondage of food addiction? What if you are reducing the anxiety surrounding your relationships by refusing to please people and letting go of control and yet… no freedom?
It might be that there is ONE last chain on your foot, the same one that remained on mine for many years: I DIDN’T SHOW UP!
- I wanted to do great and amazing things for God… but the enemy kept me from showing up for daily quite time…
- I wanted to be a runner, an athlete, an instructor… but the enemy kept me from even taking a few daily steps…
- I wanted to be a great speaker and writer…but the enemy kept me from writing one short post for years…
- I wanted to be thin (or just decent looking)…yet the enemy kept me from showing up for support and guidance in this area for the longest time…
The enemy might know better than you that if you CAN ONLY be diligent in a few little things, you will reap a great harvest.
So I’m here to tell you that there are no “special” children of God. In the end, there are those who show up, and those who don’t. That very confident women you see at Bible Study, probably started showing up (with fear and trembling at first) a long time ago. The good looking ladies you see at Curves probably pushed through humiliation at first and started showing up when they weighed much more than they do today. Many free ladies had to push through the fear of applying for that job, going for that interview or writing that first post (that no one commented on I might add) in order to reach for their dreams.
It is not easy to CHANGE so we keep saying “I can’t change”. It’s true, you may not be able to change on your own, BUT YOU CAN SHOW UP, and that’s where the Holy Spirit’s power kicks in and change happens.
- If you don’t SHOW UP for, what my initially be, a pretty-boring-no-fireworks quite time with God – YOU MAY MISS THE GOING DEEPER AND FALLING HEAD OVER HILLS IN LOVE WITH THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HEAL YOU AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER! Just show up, and ask “Lord, here I am, I’ve showed up, the rest is up to you. Please help me!”
- If you don’t SHOW UP for that snail pace walk, you MAY NEVER RUN THAT MARATHON OR PLAY THAT GAME OF TENNIS THAT YOU’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF! Just show up and while you’re walking cry out to God “Lord, here I am, this is a sacrifice for me, but I’m showing up. Please take me further!”
- If you don’t SHOW UP for that Bible study, that meeting, or that support group YOU MAY NEVER MAKE THOSE FRIENDS OR GET THAT SUPPORT THAT CAN HELP YOU STAND WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP!!
Please, I want to beg you, do this one thing when all else fails, when life is unbearable and when you are sure that you will never get a grip on your eating: JUST SHOW UP IN GOD’S PRESENCE… JUST SHOW UP AT WEIGHT WATCHERS…JUST SHOW UP AT CHURCH…JUST SHOW UP AT YOUR COUNSELOR…JUST SHOW UP AT THAT BIBLE STUDY YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE GOING TO
Be careful not to put God in a box by presenting Him with a “freedom-plan” for your life. Your healing and freedom that God has in mind, might happen in unexpected places or through encouragement and words of wisdom from the most unlikely people.
If this post speaks to you, then please come show up on our Forum, show up for my 12 Week Program, or find a Christian Support group close to where you live and show up…God wants to do a miracle for you, but you have to move with the Holy Spirit and go where he leads you…
I’m showing up with all of you wonderful ladies…when you’re sitting there with your Bible open, wondering what you’re doing, or walking out in the rain…remember that you’re not alone… I’m somewhere out there, bringing God my sacrifice of consistently showing up, just like you…and waiting, just like you, for His Glory to be revealed in and through my life
Galatians 6:9 (Amplified Bible)
9And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.
Love, Heleen
If you want to read more about this topic, please see these earlier posts/articles of mine:
Just Show Up
Take 2 Crucial Steps to Stop Overeating and Bulimia
Here are some resources for you:
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago. 5 comments
Okay, guilty as charged, I’ve been looking over Rick Warren’s shoulder again. I mentioned on our Members Forum that I’m doing the 40 Days of “The Purpose Driven Life” – AGAIN!
Now don’t despair for me just yet, it’s not that I keep forgetting or that I”m still searching for the purpose of my life.
I simply get so swept up in the rat race of life that I tend to wander off course. I forget what”s really important and I get caught up in the mundane grind of life, moving forward without any purpose or joy.
So I’m sorry that I have to drag you along on my journey of re-focusing, but this is where I’m at right now, and I thought a few of you wonderful ladies might need a little reminding as well.
These few key points of Rick in DAY 3 got my attention again:
Common things that drive our lives:
1. Many people are driven by guilt
2. Many people are driven by resentment and anger
3. Many people are driven by fear
4. Many people are driven by materialism
5. Many people are driven by the need for approval
He goes on to say: “There are other forces that can drive your life but all lead to the same dead end: Unused potential, unnecessary stress, and an unfulfilled life”
There is nothing like “unused potential, unnecessary stress and an unfulfilled life” to make people reach for something to bring “meaning” or “joy” to their lives (food, tv, porn, alcohol, drugs etc)
Don’t fall for the enemy’s lie that you just have to stay away from sin and you’ll be okay. Our lives are not about fighting off the enemy day after day. Yes, we are at war and we have to fight for our dreams and hearts, but there is a great deal of joy in finding our purpose and going for it with all we got.
In my life I found that I’m so much more able to resist the enemy’s attacks and the harshness of life when I”m fully alive with the purpose and calling that God has over my life. However, that purpose has changed over the years and through the seasons of my life, so I have to stay in the Word and close to God to know what it is. IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAS EVER BROUGHT LASTING JOY AND FULFILLMENT TO MY LIFE – LIVING TRULY WITH AND FOR GOD.
This book ” The Purpose Driven Life” is jam-packed with Scripture, and that’s one of the reasons I like it so much.
If you’re having a hard time figuring out what your purpose is in life, then I would strongly recommend you read it. You can also read this post of mine: Stop the Nonsense: Chase your Dream
I can not help myself, I simply have to end with this poem that Rick Warren quoted. It is one of my all-time favorites:)
YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE FOR A REASON
By Russell Kelfer
You are who you are for a reason.
You’re part of an intricate plan.
You’re a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God’s special woman or man
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You’re just what he wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,
And they bear the Master’s seal.
No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you’d grow.
You are who you are for a reason
You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.
You are who you are beloved
Because there is a God!
Amen to that!
Love you ladies lots
Heleen
Posted 1 year, 7 months ago. 1 comment
Week 11 of my 12 Week Online Program for Women Struggling with Food deals with the issue of Temptation. We are discussing this on the Members Forum this week. Come learn how you can find victory in those moment when you are tempted. 
