You are currently browsing the Life category.
I want to apologize to all my loyal readers. I have not been able to write on my blog much recently simply because I find myself in the midst of one of life’s unforeseen storms.
My husband lost his job a few weeks ago and like so many others in this situation waves of uncertainty, anxiety, and financial stress rocked our boat pretty bad and left me feeling sick to my stomach.
I guess you can say I’ve been given a good old fashion faith test. Do I practice what I preach? Will I actually lean on God when it matters most?
Of course my type A personality will never allow me to simply sit back and wait patiently. I always first have to try my best to save a person or a situation. But in the end, after much kicking, screaming, and striving this girl always comes face to face with her own limitations. This is the place where I finally throw in the towel and hand the reigns to God. I’m happy to report that God is still enough, He is still our provider and the only ONE who sustains us in times of trouble.
Andrew Murray describes this fight with self before we surrender very well in his book “Absolute Surrender’. Peter followed Jesus for years but his total surrender to the will of God only came after He denied Jesus three times. We see in Scripture how he wept bitterly when he came face to face with his own flesh and the realization that he can not do anything on his own after all. This is a good place to be, at the end of ourselves, where we surrender and God takes over. Paul came to that same place, as did many other people throughout the Bible.
So the challenge is before me once again:
- Will I keep trying and failing on my own or will I surrender to God?
- Will I keep working into the wee morning hours to make more money in our businesses or will I trust that God gives to his beloved in her sleep?
- Will I try my best, and promise myself daily, not to turn to food when the stress levels rise in our home, or will I realize again that only God can help me with this?
- Will I control and manipulate people to fix our situation, or will I pray more and ask God to take full control of the situation?
Our lives are truly marked by our surrender. If we surrender to God DAILY, LIFE flows into our lives. But if we try to rule and run our own lives, we actually surrender to the enemy and let DEATH (sin, anxiety and fear) creep back into our lives.
I still find myself smack in the eye of that storm, but I’m clinging to two passage in particular. The one is Psalms 3 and the other Jeremiah 17:5-8
This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
I refuse to turn into a dried-up bush in the desert! I keep reminding myself that the biggest mistake I can make for this day is to put my faith and trust in man (myself, my husband, or my friends). They can make me feel better, but if all is said and done it’s only God who can make the impossible possible.
I know I’m not alone in my storm today.
So I want to pray for each one of you ladies who find yourself in the eye of a storm this very minute. May God hold you very close while He works out the details and heals the wounds. If this storm or situation brought you to the end of yourself, the end of your strength, and the end of your plans, may you learn to surrender all to Him and trust like a little child trusts her mom or dad.
Nothing, nothing, nothing is impossible with our God!
Lots of love
Heleen
You might remember my post a while back about my struggles to potty train and pacifier-wean my little girl. People kept telling me to relax, it will happen, and even though I’ve raised three kids before her, I was growing more skeptical as the weeks went by.
However, today I can testify with great joy that it happened…all of it! I can tell that my husband is just as relieved as I am, because yesterday he came up behind me and gave me a big ol’ bear hug, saying “Thank you for taking such good care of our little girl”
Of course this was super nice to hear and made me feel all warm and gooey inside, but it also made me feel strangely sad. I was sad because I felt God asking me ever so gently, in that special moment, if I was also taking good care of His other little girl: Heleen. I had to choke back the tears, because I know that I’m not always a good steward of my own body, mind and spirit.
When a woman just had a baby it’s almost “natural” to forget about her own needs and just focus on the needs of the baby. Most new moms find themselves exhausted and frazzled soon after that little person comes into their lives. However, at some point in time, when our kids are growing up, we realize that it’s time to take care of ourselves again.
Unfortunately most women with eating disorders stay in that place of self neglect and even self abuse. Many times we are people pleasers and perfectionists. We work our fingers to the bone for others and harm our own bodies in the process. We stay awake when others sleep, starve ourselves when others eat, work when others rest, and worry about things that others don’t even care about. Sadly many of us “treat” ourselves with junk food because we feel that it’s the only good thing we have. It might even be our own distorted way to take care of an otherwise depleted and deprived body.
Upon closer investigation and allowing the Holy Spirit to pin point some stuff, I became aware of the huge difference between how I treat my little girl and her mom (me).
I still eat food that I will never dream of giving to my little girl (unhealthy or no vitamins at all)
I watch much more TV than I would allow her to watch (adults don’t need lots of TV either:)
I don’t take naps even when I’m utterly exhausted
I don’t drink enough water
I go to bed way too late
I don’t take the time to play and laugh
I have no patience with myself and mercy for my own mistakes
I sometimes talk rudely to or about myself
Do you take good care of yourself? It doesn’t matter what your age, you are God’s little girl. He loves you with an everlasting love, and His eyes are on you every moment of your life.
Please note that I’m not suggesting you become self focused and self centered, goodness knows we have enough of that in our society. Of course our focus should be on serving God and others. However, you can not be of any use to your children, your friends, and your ministry if you don’t take care of your very basic needs first.
Remember how Jesus called the disciples to get away with Him to eat, to rest, and to pray? There were a lot of sick, needy people around Jesus, but I believe He was showing us, through His own example, that we too should be diligent in taking care of our temporary houses of flesh, so that He can use us for His glory. If you listen closely you will hear the Holy Spirit voice encouraging you, counseling you and guiding you into what to do next that will be best for your whole person. I guess it all again boils down to SURRENDERING EVERY MOMENT OF OUR DAY, and consequently all of our lives, to God. All it really takes is waiting, listening to His voice, and then of course, doing what He tells you (obedience)
I encourage you to listen closely today and hear the gentle voice of God whispering…
“Take good care of my little girl”
Another daugter of the King
Heleen
Here are some resources for you:
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago. 1 comment
Maybe it’s time to get angry. I felt my blood pressure rise and a “holy anger” came over me while reading a few emails of ladies these past weeks. These were emails of pain, bondage, and hopelessness and while my heart was bleeding for each one of these precious women, I was also getting so mad at the enemy.
I’m angry because of a vicious lie Satan has been using for ages to keep us in bondage. It’s the lie of “you can’t possibly come to God in this disgusting state that you are in”
Do you realize how many women are kept in bondage daily because they believe:
“I can only go back to church once I’ve lost some weight”
“I will join that women’s Bible study once I’ve stopped gambling”
“I will talk to a pastor after I’ve ended this relationship”
“I can not pray while I still have these evil thoughts”
“I can not read my Bible while I still yell at my kids”
Ladies, IT’S TIME TO GET MAD AT THE ENEMY!
We don’t have the power to save or change ourselves. So if the enemy can just get us to believe the lie that we have to fix ourselves before coming to God we are trapped!
I am adding this part about the prodigal son that I’ve posted before because it is so important to hear again.
God is calling you, just as you are. You might be dealing with incredible pain, shame, or anxiety at this very moment. You might have just eaten so much food that you are in physical pain. Maybe you just purged and you feel shame hanging like a cloak around your shoulders. Maybe you are past all these feelings and you just feel a great numbness inside of you…
Seriously, God is waiting for you! He saw everything you did and He is still waiting and calling…
The voices of condemnation, guilt and shame that you hear are not of God but of the enemy who wants to destroy you (John 10:10)
I would like to remind you today of our Father’s heart. The parable in Luke 15 about the prodigal son gives us a peek into the heart of our heavenly father. He is looking for you, waiting for you to return to Him. He doesn’t insist that you first clean up your act or that you get rid of your filth before you come to Him. On the contrary, when He sees you taking the first few steps, He will run to you with open arms, welcoming you and showering you with love.
Please don’t try to first get “better” before you come to God. It’s the enemy’s age old trick to keep us in bondage.
It is only in God’s presence that we are cleaned and changed. You can not change yourself, but He has all the power to heal your broken heart and help you change the habits and addictions you’ve picked up to numb the pain. Better yet… He wants to heal the pain you are trying to numb…
Listen to what the Amplified Bible says about the father of the prodigal son:
“So he got up and came to his [own] father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with pity and tenderness [for him]; and he ran and embraced him and kissed him [fervently]” (Luke 15:20)(emphasis mine)
Do you see that the father was moved with pity and tenderness! Our heavenly Father has that same pity and tenderness towards us every time we come to Him, even in our filthy state. This might not be the first time you come to Him, but PLEASE don’t stop coming.
I found freedom from bulimia when I started crying out to God EVERY TIME I was binging or purging. I would cry and tell Him how bad I felt about myself, how ashamed I was, and how I needed Him to help me. He heard, He took pity on me, and drew me close to his heart with tenderness. You are his child too, He has no favorites, He wants to do the same for you!
Just run to Him my dear friend, repent, and accept His forgiveness. Jesus came so you can be free (Isaiah 61)
Your sister in Christ
Heleen
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago. 4 comments
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain:
faith,
hope
and love.
But the greatest of these is LOVE.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-13 (Today’s New International Version)
Does the above passage make you uncomfortable?
Does it strike you as something you will never be able to do?
I agree, it’s much like the passage in Proverbs 31, it sets a standard that is very hard to come by.
You might come away from this passage with a feeling of hopelessness.
Who can love like this?
We want to love like this, but honestly, even on a good day we might only get as far as being patient and kind.
Actually, the love described in this passage refers to AGAPE love.
We don’t have it, but we need it.
We can’t produce this kind of love, but God can give it to us.
Not only can He help you to love your husband, boyfriend, child, or friend in this way, but even the person who pushes your buttons, and yes, even your enemy.
It’s as simple as asking.
Maybe you will have to ask a few times and keep asking every time you find yourself head on with a certain person, behavior, or offense. But don’t let that keep you from asking.
Go ahead, next time you find yourself all out of love, ASK!
Maybe something like this:
“Lord, I have no love in my heart right now, but I realize how important love is to you. Please give me love in my heart for this person. Your love that overrules my own feelings and offenses”
How do you get a constant flow of this Agape love in your life?
Read John 15 again. According to this passage there is only one way that we can have fruit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) in our lives and that is to “abide in the Vine” or “have a close relationship with Jesus”
(my translation)
You have nothing to lose you know… when you love you always win!
Have a wonderful Valentines Day ladies!
There is someone who is in desperate need of your love you know…
It could be romantic love:) or it could be love of a very different kind…
Love,
Heleen
Posted 2 years, 3 months ago. Add a comment
Saying NO to other people remains a pretty challenging endeavor in my life. However, there is something that I find far more difficult: Saying NO to myself!
Our pastor recently encouraged us to focus again on saying NO to our own flesh as we keep reaching for the things God asks of us.
This is a powerful call to action and something any warm blooded Christian would agree to in a heart beat (that is when you’re sitting in the pew and everybody around you also agrees enthusiastically)
Unfortunately the church pew is not where we live out the truth of our conviction.
Soon after the above mentioned “call to action” I found myself head-on with my infamous “flesh” or “sinful nature”. In those moments, I knew exactly what I had to do but I didn’t want to!
It’s started in my quiet time: I was bringing an old wound before God that had just been ripped open; bitterness and anger came oozing out. I wanted revenge, but He suggested forgiveness. I didn’t want to!
Later that same morning I started thinking about a certain snack. Soon after I found myself holding the particular snack in my hand. I knew I had no business eating it. I clearly heard the Holy Spirit nudging me to simply throw it away… I didn’t want to!
It was then that the previous day’s sermon came back to me. Here I was, my flesh rising up in all its glory, and the battle was on!
What about you? Can you say NO to YOURSELF?
We are getting pretty good at saying NO to others these days (thanks to the Boundaries books:) and our awareness of the enemy’s schemes are growing as we educate ourselves on resisting and rebuking the enemy.
But what about that little voice inside of us crying out “I don’t want to!”
We live in a society where we all have rights, we all want to rule our own lives, and nobody wants to be bossed by anybody. However, this is not the way God created us; we are either ruled by GOD or by SIN. We have to choose. You can read all about this in Romans 8: 5-15
Let’s face it though, saying NO to yourself without the Holy Spirit’s help is excruciating, and frankly futile. Even if we muster up the courage to resist our flesh in certain areas of our lives, there are always those weak places where our flesh keeps getting the upper hand (hence the low success rate of diets)
So how do you say NO to yourself?
The same way you say NO to the enemy: SURRENDER TO GOD!
Start by being honest with yourself. Stop for one second next time you find yourself at that crucial place of decision making, and ask yourself this: Why can’t I say NO?
- That place where you’re either buy a bag of chocolates… or the bag of peaches.
- That specific moment in time when you either start thinking negative thoughts about a person who hurt you… or reject those thoughts and choose to forgive.
- That crucial point where you decide to either watch TV till 1:00 am in the morning, knowing very well that it steals your time and it will affect your work and family life the next day… or spend time with God and turn in early.
The answer might very well be … “I don’t want to”
Now you might not be ready to put down the remote or the expensive purchase yet, but at least stop and cry out to God IN THAT MOMENT.
Try this prayer “God I’m honest with you: I don’t want to let go of this thing. I know it’s harmful to me. I know it breaks every promise I’ve made to myself, but still…I don’t want to. Please change my heart. Take away the desires that is not of you. Help me grow in you and make time for you so that my desires will start to change, so that I will start to want YOU above all else!”
It’s not an easy prayer and it will take a brave woman like yourself to pray it, but I believe you can do it!
Please know that you’re not a horrible person if you can’t say NO just yet. It takes time. It’s like a muscle that you have to keep flexing, a little more every day, until it becomes strong. I have to DAILY starve that “I don’t want to” voice in me and flex my NO-muscle so that my spirit can grow and I can desire God above all else.
It comes as no surprise that it all starts in the mind! If you can say NO to the thought before it turns into action, you have won the fight! Start by saying NO to only one sinful thought today, then two tomorrow… and before you know it you are setting your mind on God ALL THE TIME!
Romans 8: 5 Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.
I love how Beth Moore puts it when she refers to David’s sin with Bathsheba in her study A heart like His:
” The gap between wanting and getting is where we must flex the muscle of self-control to protect ourselves. David had risen to a position where his every wish was someone else’s command. He had ceased to hear a very important word – one without which integrity cannot be maintained . The word is NO.”
(emphasis mine)
My dear friend, may we learn to say NO to others when it’s appropriate, and may we say NO to the enemy when he tempts us, but most of all MAY WE LEARN TO SAY NO TO OUR OWN FLESH ALL THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES, so we can become strong in spirit and follow in the footsteps of the mighty women of old.
I love you ladies,
Heleen
Posted 2 years, 4 months ago. 1 comment
