I wanted to share this excerpt out of the new Breaking Free Bible Study by Beth Moore with you:
“God has reserved momentous victories and great rewards for us. But we’ll never make it to our milestones if we cant’ make through our moments“
Isn’t that so true?
We set these milestones and we even have faith for it – but then we get to that ‘MOMENT”, that excruciating moment of temptation or weakness, and we cave… and then we lose hope…
SO HOW DO WE GET THROUGH OUR WEAK MOMENTS?
Beth goes on to say that 2 reasons exist that we don’t take the “exit” God offers in our weak moments (1 Cor 10:13)
1. We don’t want to
2. We don’t feel like we deserve to
We have to ask God in that MOMENT:
“God I don’t want to stop eating, but please change my WANT TO”
or
“God I don’t think I deserve healthy food/taking care of my body, but please help me see that I am a princess of the only true King and I do deserve it”
If you have been following along on our MEMBERS FORUM, you will know that I am struggling at this time in my life with “keeping my mouth under control”. Our family life has become very challenging because (as I mentioned before) my husband and I have a few businesses that we now run from home, and I’m still homeschooling two of my kids. So I tend to lose my temper and reach for some unhealthy snacks in those very stressful or weak moments during the day.
Sometimes it’s totally a “I just don’t want to” thing like Beth mentioned, and I’ve been crying out to God to change my heart’s desires in those times.
However, sometimes I even “want to”, and plan to do the right thing, but when I get to that MOMENT… I just DON’T!
Paul speaks about this struggle in his own life, and he concludes that it is indeed ONLY GOD who can saves us and help us overcome in those times.
So what can we do if we even want to do the right thing, but we DON’T?
I will tell you about the only thing that has worked for me even in the hardest of times:
I have to recognize that my thoughts of “it doesn’t matter” or “what difference does it make” in those weak moments is LIES OF THE ENEMY. He knows my weakness and he will present those lies to me every time I feel stressed or weak – FOR AS LONG AS I BELIEVE IT TO BE JUST MY OWN LITTLE THOUGHTS.
So we have to first of all SPOT THE LIES – those are not your thoughts, and most certainly NOT YOUR WANTS – and then RUN INTO GOD’S PRESENCE. Listen girl, you will only find victory in those weak moments if you get out of that situation and find a place to pray. Rebuke the enemy and read those note cards with God’s truth out loud so your ears can hear the truth. The Bible says that in God’s presence the veil is stripped away, and as we look into the truth of His Word, we are changed (Go read this in 2 Corinthians 3: 16-18)
But what if you have 20 weak moments a day?
Don’t worry, even though daily time in God’s presence is the only way to remain free, you will not have to run and pray 20 times a day for the rest of your life. BUT FOR NOW – LET’S FACE IT – THAT MIGHT BE WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.
If you feel yourself going around in that cycle of making promises to yourself to do better, even wanting to do better, and then failing every day at that same weak moment… THEN IT’S TIME TO SURRENDER YOURSELF TO GOD, RESIST THE ENEMY, AND HE WILL FLEE FROM YOU (James 4:7)
Please go read again WEEK 2 and WEEK 11 of my 12 Week Online Program for women with eating disorders if you have forgotten (or didn’t realize) that you’re not just fighting your own FLESH but also a very real enemy. I talk about these issues in greater detail there, and also give you some tools to find victory in those weak moments.
The following passage of Scripture underlines it all:
1 Peter 5:6-10 (New International Version, ©2011)
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
In His Love
Heleen
PS: I highly recommend Beth Moore’s Bible Study “Breaking Free“ – it is life changing! Find a group near you or start a small group yourself, it is so much more effective if you do it with the accountability of other women.
Posted 1 year, 2 months ago at 9:30 am. 4 comments
Do you constantly feel defeated, guilt ridden, tired, depressed, worried, stressed and overwhelmed? Are you truly desperate for change in your life and your situation?
Lets tackle the question then shall we: How does change happen?
I’ve looked for change everywhere I could. I still sometimes fall for the lie that if I can just be “better”, work harder, and pull myself together, then change will come… but it never does. The only times I’ve experienced TRUE CHANGE (the kind that lasts and lasts) was when I stopped making plans and finally turned to the Author of my life.
Please note that change doesn’t happen through programs, books, Bible studies, support groups or counseling. All of these things/people are marvelous tools in God’s hands that He uses to draw us closer to Him. But in the end, after we’ve done the program, went through counseling, got some support, and studied the Bible it should all lead us to one place: A DEEP LOVE RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS!
WHY? Because we ONLY changed IN HIS PRESENCE!
So if you are HONESTLY READY FOR CHANGE then I have a prescription for you:
I prescribe ONE BIG DOSE OF PRAYER DAILY!
Wait! Please don’t tune me out or stop reading yet. I know I’ve lost some of you when I mentioned the word prayer. You might think “Man, I’ve tried that before” or “Not the prayer thing again”
So lets talk about it candidly for a second: Why would you even consider prayer?
Here’s what I found in the Bible and my life…
Prayer not only helps you “empty out” all the junk of the day, the world, and all the worries an thoughts racing through your mind, but more importantly it “fills you up” with the love, mercy, and greatness of God.
I need to be reminded of this often because if there is one thing the enemy wants to steal from me (every child of God really) it’s my PRAYER TIME. I will still make time for Bible Study and somehow drag my sorry bones to the gym, but when it comes to spending time just “talking” to God, the enemy blocks me at every corner.
When I finally get a clue and jump back on the prayer wagon, I can’t help but think that if we knew how important prayer was for our everyday living and survival, let alone victory, WE WOULD FIGHT FOR IT WITH ALL WE HAVE. We would give prayer first priority every day, we would make time during the day, and for sure before we go to bed at night. In fact, if you’re battling to overcome an addiction or eating disorder prayer is CRUCIAL. I’ve heard many people, who struggle to break free from addictions, say that prayer three times daily was the only way they could get victorious through any given day.
Here’s a little word picture for you. Next time you forget to pray, or something hinders you from just sitting down for 5 minutes to talk to God, imagine it as being the same as not showering. I know…gross… Now imagine not showering for a few days, the layers of filth gathering, the smell, the uncomfortable feeling. If this persists for a long time you might become “used to” the smell, thinking that it’s “normal” … but that won’t stop you from getting skin diseases and other illnesses that accompanies a lack of hygiene. Also, people will start avoiding you because of the obvious stench.
Honestly, the same thing happens in our spirit. If we don’t pray for a day or two we’re still pretty okay, maybe a little irritated, maybe we don’t feel so great because of the stress, anxiety and junk that starts piling up in our spirit, but we can still handle it. However, if this persists for a while we can start to “stink” to the people around us. We might not “stink” so much to ourselves anymore because we got used to our anxiety and yucky feelings. In fact we might even blame our attitude on the world we live in, the people in our lives, and the bad genes we have. We might turn on God and blame Him for not caring about us and not loving us, all this without ever really talking to God. If we would take the time we would see clearly the deteriorated state of our spirit (heart) and emotions and it will all start to make sense to us.
In the midst of business, loneliness, sadness, pain, joy, or fear there is ONE THING WE TRULY need: To be washed by the water of the Word – A good old fashion spiritual bath in God’s presence and His Word to wash away all the worries, the stress, the pain, and the anger. We need to come into God’s presence so that He can change us and remind us that He is almighty and He is in control of our lives. If we wait on Him (talk to Him and listen to His voice) our strength will be renewed, we will rise up with wings like eagles, we will run and not grow weary.
Don’t wait any longer, GO NOW, RUN INTO HIS PRESENCE, GO SIT AT HIS FEET, BE RENEWED AND RESTORED!
I’m preaching to myself here ladies – I’m off to sit at His feet or as a good friend of mine like to say “feel His sweet kisses on my cheeks”
Love you ladies
Heleen
Please have a look at my 12 Week Online Program for women who want to stop binge eating, overeating or bulimia by growing into close relationship with Jesus Christ. My program is not a quick fix, but will gentle lead you to the ONLY ONE WHO CAN BRING HEALING AND CHANGE TO YOUR LIFE -JESUS.
Posted 1 year, 4 months ago at 4:05 pm. 4 comments
I regret that I have not been able to get to my blog much because of a way too busy life. I apologize to all you ladies who are faithfully reading my blogs.
I’m praying for the season to change, but for now the answers I receive are more along the lines of God changing my heart and not so much the season (sounds familiar?) I’m afraid yours truly are always in need so of some more open heart surgery under the skillful hands of the Master Surgeon.
I’m really not complaining, on the contrary, it’s a good season even though it’s difficult. I’ve been stretched and grown in directions I didn’t even realize existed. My husband is still working from home and we have our hands full with balancing work, home school, and just life in general.
I’ve been wanting for a while now to answer a question on here that many of you have asked and that I have pondered on and researched for many years:
Why do some women break free and others don’t? Why can a group of women go through my program, or through 21 days of detox on the forum and some are victorious while others just can’t seem to make it.
Now, there is of course no easy answer to this. Some ladies have deep layers of abuse and pain from their past that first need to be revealed and healed by Jesus Himself. Others have a root of bitterness and unforgiveness that prevents them from growing in God or moving forward in any area of their lives. This can only be fixed by a healthy dose of repentance and falling in love with the One who knows how to break the hardest heart and heal the deepest pain.
The question remains though: What if you’ve dealt with your past and you’ve let God into all those hurtful places, but you’re still not free from this devastating bondage of food addiction? What if you are reducing the anxiety surrounding your relationships by refusing to please people and letting go of control and yet… no freedom?
It might be that there is ONE last chain on your foot, the same one that remained on mine for many years: I DIDN’T SHOW UP!
- I wanted to do great and amazing things for God… but the enemy kept me from showing up for daily quite time…
- I wanted to be a runner, an athlete, an instructor… but the enemy kept me from even taking a few daily steps…
- I wanted to be a great speaker and writer…but the enemy kept me from writing one short post for years…
- I wanted to be thin (or just decent looking)…yet the enemy kept me from showing up for support and guidance in this area for the longest time…
The enemy might know better than you that if you CAN ONLY be diligent in a few little things, you will reap a great harvest.
So I’m here to tell you that there are no “special” children of God. In the end, there are those who show up, and those who don’t. That very confident women you see at Bible Study, probably started showing up (with fear and trembling at first) a long time ago. The good looking ladies you see at Curves probably pushed through humiliation at first and started showing up when they weighed much more than they do today. Many free ladies had to push through the fear of applying for that job, going for that interview or writing that first post (that no one commented on I might add) in order to reach for their dreams.
It is not easy to CHANGE so we keep saying “I can’t change”. It’s true, you may not be able to change on your own, BUT YOU CAN SHOW UP, and that’s where the Holy Spirit’s power kicks in and change happens.
- If you don’t SHOW UP for, what my initially be, a pretty-boring-no-fireworks quite time with God – YOU MAY MISS THE GOING DEEPER AND FALLING HEAD OVER HILLS IN LOVE WITH THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HEAL YOU AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER! Just show up, and ask “Lord, here I am, I’ve showed up, the rest is up to you. Please help me!”
- If you don’t SHOW UP for that snail pace walk, you MAY NEVER RUN THAT MARATHON OR PLAY THAT GAME OF TENNIS THAT YOU’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF! Just show up and while you’re walking cry out to God “Lord, here I am, this is a sacrifice for me, but I’m showing up. Please take me further!”
- If you don’t SHOW UP for that Bible study, that meeting, or that support group YOU MAY NEVER MAKE THOSE FRIENDS OR GET THAT SUPPORT THAT CAN HELP YOU STAND WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP!!
Please, I want to beg you, do this one thing when all else fails, when life is unbearable and when you are sure that you will never get a grip on your eating: JUST SHOW UP IN GOD’S PRESENCE… JUST SHOW UP AT WEIGHT WATCHERS…JUST SHOW UP AT CHURCH…JUST SHOW UP AT YOUR COUNSELOR…JUST SHOW UP AT THAT BIBLE STUDY YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE GOING TO
Be careful not to put God in a box by presenting Him with a “freedom-plan” for your life. Your healing and freedom that God has in mind, might happen in unexpected places or through encouragement and words of wisdom from the most unlikely people.
If this post speaks to you, then please come show up on our Forum, show up for my 12 Week Program, or find a Christian Support group close to where you live and show up…God wants to do a miracle for you, but you have to move with the Holy Spirit and go where he leads you…
I’m showing up with all of you wonderful ladies…when you’re sitting there with your Bible open, wondering what you’re doing, or walking out in the rain…remember that you’re not alone… I’m somewhere out there, bringing God my sacrifice of consistently showing up, just like you…and waiting, just like you, for His Glory to be revealed in and through my life
Galatians 6:9 (Amplified Bible)
9And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.
Love, Heleen
If you want to read more about this topic, please see these earlier posts/articles of mine:
Just Show Up
Take 2 Crucial Steps to Stop Overeating and Bulimia
Here are some resources for you:
Posted 1 year, 7 months ago at 9:10 am. 5 comments
I must admit, I have a need to stay busy all the time! It’s more than a need actually, for years I have equated busyness with power, prestige and value. Fortunately, God has brought about a lot of change in my value system and way of thinking, and these days I’m ready for a slower pace.
However, moving at a snail’s pace without purpose or direction can cause other problems. Let’s have a look:
The Good:
I’ve written in previous posts about the absolute necessity for someone who struggles with food to find again her buried dreams and desires. Those dreams are given to us by God and it makes each one of us unique and our lives worth living. If we don’t follow our purpose and dreams, we will follow something else, even something destructive. So to get busy with your dreams is a GOOD THING!
If you often find yourself bored, not interested in anything, tired, depressed and without purpose, you might have lost vision and purpose for your life. This is not God’s plan for you.
Living in this hopeless state can cause a person to turn to food again and again. In fact, you might pick up many other idols along the way if you don’t find meaning and purpose in your life. Even good Christians who read their Bibles and pray daily can fall prey to idolatry if they don’t find joy in fulfilling the purpose God has for them on this earth.
The Bad:
Unfortunately anything we devout all of our time, energy, and money to can become an idol instead of bringing fulfillment to our lives.
Take for instance this ministry I have for women who struggle with food. I’ve had this yearning to help other ladies for many years, but I wasn’t sure how it should all play out. I’ve asked God to show me what He wants me to do, and when He opened the doors for me to start a website and an online program I was so excited. I had a new zeal for life. I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning. I was like a kid with a new toy!
This part was great, but the I started overdoing it. I spent way too much time with my new found purpose. I started putting the needs of others in front of time with God and taking care of my own needs. Last year this time I found myself almost at the point of being burnt out. The “bad” side of busyness was knocking at my door.
I was slipping even with my eating, this shook me out of my denial and I cried out to God to show me how to balance these things. What I learned is that to keep busy from morning to night shuts out the voice of God. We fall back into quick prayers, even quick Bible studies, but nothing seems to get to our hearts.
I felt my heart grew cold and numb, a dangerous place for someone who struggles with food. If there is one thing a food addict knows it is this: If you get too busy, you get out of touch with your body, your needs, and your emotions, and then you start binging mindlessly.
Don’t get so busy that you lose touch with your own self .
These days I don’t go online every weekend, on purpose. I stop working at a certain time in the evening to take a bubble bath, on purpose. I go on hikes to the park with my kids, without a cellphone or a book, on purpose.
All these moments in time creates opportunity to meditate on the Word, think about God, figure out what is going on inside of me and hear Him speak to me in ways I could never imagine!
So where are you with all this?
Do you need to get moving, find your purpose, and live the life God planned for you?
or
Do you need to slow down, smell the roses, experience the people around you and feel the gentle touch of God restoring your soul?
If you need help in finding your purpose and dreams please read this post where I’ve provided some tips and resources:
Stop the nonsense, chase your dream!
If you are in need of some rest, do it now, don’t wait for a vacation!
Get out in the sun or the rain, talk to God. Or just sit in your favorite chair and do nothing. Just wait and listen…
You will unfortunately never grow an intimate relationship with God while running a thousand miles per hour. The Holy Spirit will keep calling and drawing you to that quiet, secret place where you can hear the voice of God. He’s been waiting for you, all you have to do is STOP and LISTEN.
Come on, I challenge you today: Do what you have to do.
Life is too short to waste it on an eating disorder or any other addiction. One of the major steps you can take toward healing is to find out if you need to MOVE or STOP. I’m not going to lie to you, IT’S VERY SCARY either way. However, it could be the thing that turns your life around…you can do it girl!
In His Love
Heleen
If you are looking for Christian based eating disorder treatment, you will find a bunch of free material and a very affordable 12 Week Program on my website. Here are some resources for you:
Posted 2 years, 7 months ago at 12:56 pm. 2 comments
How do you feel when you get an invitation to a friend’s wedding, or to go on vacation with family, or to come out East (or West) for Thanksgiving? Does your stomach turn and your blood pressure rise at the very thought of it? Special occasions can be absolute torture for someone with a food struggle. The worst part; it happens all the time!
I receive emails of sheer desperation from ladies about this topic more than anything else: “How can I lose weight fast without jeopardizing everything “
The truth: This kind of anxiety is very dangerous. It will most likely make you look for a quick fix and a quick fix is just an accident waiting to happen.
The good news: You can use this “occasion” to start your journey, right now, seriously, by grabbing on to God and asking for help (counseling or prayer) to lay down the food (junk food and addictive foods) that always drag you down.
The bad news: You have to be honest with yourself, because it will be ONLY THAT, the start of a journey! Serious weight loss, without any regard for the consequences to your health and body, can not be your main focus. There are safe meal replacement programs on the market that I have used and that helped me lose weight pretty fast. However, if you only do this for a short time, without a coach or a support group, you are very likely to put the weight that you’ve lost right back on (and some).
I’ m sorry that I have to be so blunt, but I can’t lie to women who have already suffered so much. If you didn’t deal with some of the pain from your past or present relationships, you will most likely reach for the quick fix again. This dangerous method might cause you to lose a few pounds (possibly) but it will not be worth the denial, pain and turmoil you’ll feel inside. It is this emotional turmoil, caused by fad diets or dangerous methods (purging, diet pills, etc), that makes people pick up lies, denial, unbelief and pride again. So in the end all it does is postpone your healing for a few more years!
So if you are still surfing the web, flipping through magazines and TV channels to find a quick solution to this long term problem, then you probably still carry a lot of “unfinished business”.
I know, because I have so been there. We once went back to South Africa for a vacation and because of some issues I still refused to deal with, I was right back there, on the internet, looking to lose 60 pounds in one month! This was after I have been totally set free from bulimia! I am happy to report that it was 7 years ago, and it didn’t last long, but ONLY because I came back and dealt with my issues and for the first time 100% meant it when I told God “I now truly believe that ONLY YOU can heal me and that NOTHING and NOBODY else can. I am ready to lay down ALL the lies and start trusting you, one day at a time”
Let me try and help you if you find yourself in this very difficult place of needing to lose weight FAST for some occasion:
FIRST: LET’S LOOK AT THE FACTS
- You will probably not be able to lose much weight before the special occasion, even if you try your best. All the stress doesn’t help. However, if you’re still a few months away from the occasion you do have time to shed a decent amount of weight on either a meal replacement program WITH A COACH in place or a safe program such as Weight Watchers IF YOU ALSO ATTEND A GROUP for support and accountability. Support will help you move forward after the occasion and make it a long term solution instead of a fad diet.
- Also, when you get closer to the date, find something you can wear that is slimming and “good enough’ (lower your expectations of perfection). This will take away some of the stress.
- If you eat the right portions that are high in nutritional value and you exercise, you will get your metabolism to work for you (against the stress hormones) much more than any fad diet, diet pill, or extreme measure would.
- A great plus point in starting to follow a program high in nutrition: You will have good hair and skin on top of losing a few pounds, and best of all, PEACE when you need to face the music (or the people)
- However, if you follow a drastic measure you will have exactly the opposite outcome: No significant weight loss and breakouts that usually goes along with irregular eating and stress. Also, depriving yourself like that can lead to binging, which can cause you to gain weight!
There are not short cuts, it takes a journey. However, this occasion can be the beginning of a journey to freedom for you…
Here’s a prescription for you before the special event:
SIMPLICITY: If you feel like you have too many things to pull off every day it will just add to your anxiety. So make a commitment to yourself and God to just do 3 THINGS:
1. TIME IN THE WORD EVERY DAY, NO MATTER WHAT! Change that time every morning when you usually make plans for the day, and promise yourself that you will not eat sugar and carbs into a time when you are just honest with yourself and God. Tell Him that you can not do it at all, and ask Him to take over. I recommend you get a Bible study that can keep your attention, because you will probably find it extremely hard to focus on anything right now, due to the underlying stress. See my list of Recommended Books and Bible Studies
2. EXERCISE 3-5 DAYS A WEEK, NO MATTER WHAT! Please read last week’s post about Just Showing Up This is so important because it will help you stay on track with your eating and emotional well being. Also read my other posts on exercise and have a look at the books I recommend to get you motivated. Even very moderate exercise such as slow walking will make the world of a difference in your emotional well being and your ability to resist temptation. Commit to doing this in order for you to stay sane; come rain or sunshine, whether you’ve binged the night before or not, whether you feel good or bad, whether you are depressed and have a lot to do. If you can do it first thing every morning, it will be great (also for burning more calories and having a better day food wise), but even if you have to go to the gym 9pm at night, just stick to your commitment.
3. As far as food: Sign up for a program that has GREAT SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY. All the programs that I’ve followed in the past (never mind how healthy and balanced) did not work for long when I was doing it all by myself. The ones that really stuck were the ones high in nutrients and variety, and where I had either the support of a GROUP or a COACH. Please have a look at Week 4 of my program if you need more information on this.
Now, after saying all of this, I have to remind you: There is no condemnation for you in Christ Jesus! God is so thrilled that you set your feet on this journey back to Him where your healing lays. If you fall, He will run to your aid, and if you can not overcome this specific situation due to all the stress and pain you still feel, He will be waiting for you… until you’re ready.
And seriously, there is no condemnation coming from this girl either. I know about the pain and how we each have our own time frame of when we’re ready to surrender. I also know that if everybody else gives up on us, GOD DOES NOT!
If you feel that you can not do anything I’ve said, then please have a look at my program or go for counseling. Talking to a counselor or a pastor who has some knowledge about food struggles can help you find the reason why you so desperately need to lose weight, while you still desperately need the food to “cope”. You might find yourself between a rock and a hard place my friend, and then you really need help.
I pray even now that this upcoming event will be the last straw for every lady who reads this post. I pray that it will be the thing that opens your eyes to the truth, makes you hit rock-bottom, and help you to surrender your food struggle to God, forever…
You are so loved dear sister… the Bible says His eyes are on you!
In His Love
Heleen
More Resources for you – Please Click on the Links to learn more:
- 12 Week Online Program and Private Forum for Women Struggling with Food – Get the FIRST WEEK FREE to try it out
Posted 2 years, 8 months ago at 9:42 pm. Add a comment
I wanted to share this excerpt out of the new Breaking Free Bible Study by Beth Moore with you:
