Insecurities: Every Woman’s Battle

We’ve just finished up Week 6 on the forum – this week deals with exposing the lies of the enemy and the world around us, which tend to shape the way we view ourselves. It also helps you to pick up the truth of God’s Word and start viewing yourself as the Princess of God who you truly are.  Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson:   The BIG issue of INSECURITY! I must admit, I’m blessed beyond what I’ve imagined by Beth Moore’s latest book “So Long Insecurity:You’ve been a bad friend to us” She said so many profound things, but one simple sentence hit me hard: “Worship in it simplest form is FOCUS” I keep reminding all of you wonderful ladies that our focus needs to change from WEIGHT LOSS to HEALTH if we ever want to get out of this nightmare of eating disorders. However, reading this book and looking at my own life, made me realize that there is more. There is a “deeper level” if you will. Our focus will probably never shift from WEIGHT LOSS to HEALTH if we don’t first move our focus from OURSELVES to GOD. Beth speaks about a deep insecurity that plagues the lives of so many. I’ve known this to be true in my own life and almost every lady I’ve encountered that has a struggle with food. Deep down at the bottom of our beings lies an insecurity that drives us to please others, to strive for perfection, to stay in control of our surroundings and the people we love, and to maintain or reach a certain weight AT ALL COST! Way too much stress and pressure for one person! No wonder that same person will reach for the cookie jar at the end …

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ONE difference between the FREE and the CAPTIVE

I regret that I have not been able to get to my blog much because of a way too busy life. I apologize to all you ladies who are faithfully reading my blogs. I’m praying for the season to change, but for now the answers I receive are more along the lines of God changing my heart and not so much the season (sounds familiar?) I’m afraid yours truly are always in need so of some more open heart surgery under the skillful hands of the Master Surgeon. I’m really not complaining, on the contrary, it’s a good season even though it’s difficult. I’ve been stretched and grown in directions I didn’t even realize existed. My husband is still working from home and we have our hands full with balancing work, home school, and just life in general. I’ve been wanting for a while now to answer a question on here that many of you have asked and that I have pondered on and researched for many years: Why do some women break free and others don’t? Why can a group of women go through my program, or through 21 days of detox on the forum and some are victorious while others just can’t seem to make it. Now, there is of course no easy answer to this. Some ladies have deep layers of abuse and pain from their past that first need to be revealed and healed by Jesus Himself. Others have a root of bitterness and unforgiveness that prevents them from growing in God or moving forward in any area of their lives. This can only be fixed by a healthy dose of repentance and falling in love with the One who knows how to break the hardest heart and heal the deepest pain. The question remains though: What if you’ve …

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What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Okay, guilty as charged, I’ve been looking over Rick Warren’s shoulder again. I mentioned on our Members Forum that I’m doing the 40 Days of  “The Purpose Driven Life”  – AGAIN! Now don’t despair for me just yet, it’s not that I keep forgetting or that I”m still searching for the purpose of my life. I simply get so swept up in the rat race of life that I tend to wander off course. I forget what”s really important and I get caught up in the mundane grind of life, moving forward without any purpose or joy. So I’m sorry that I have to drag you along on my journey of re-focusing, but this is where I’m at right now, and I thought a few of you wonderful ladies might need a little reminding as well. These few key points of Rick in DAY 3 got my attention again: Common things that drive our lives: 1. Many people are driven by guilt 2. Many people are driven by resentment and anger 3. Many people are driven by fear 4. Many people are driven by materialism 5. Many people are driven by the need for approval He goes on to say: “There are other forces that can drive your life but all lead to the same dead end: Unused potential, unnecessary stress, and an unfulfilled life” There is nothing like “unused potential, unnecessary stress and an unfulfilled life” to make people reach for something to bring “meaning” or “joy” to their lives (food, tv, porn, alcohol, drugs etc) Don’t fall for the enemy’s lie that you just have to stay away from sin and you’ll be okay. Our lives are not about fighting off the enemy day after day. Yes, we are at war and we have to fight for our dreams and hearts, …

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In the Eye of the Storm

I want to apologize to all my loyal readers. I have not been able to write on my blog much recently simply because I find myself in the midst of  one of life’s unforeseen storms. My husband lost his job a few weeks ago and like so many others in this situation waves of uncertainty, anxiety, and financial stress rocked our boat pretty bad and left me feeling sick to my stomach. I guess you can say I’ve been given a good old fashion faith test. Do I practice what I preach? Will I actually lean on God when it matters most? Of course my type A personality will never allow me to simply sit back and wait patiently. I always first have to try my best to save a person or a situation. But in the end, after much kicking, screaming, and striving this girl always comes face to face with her own limitations. This is the place where I finally throw in the towel and hand the reigns to God.  I’m happy to report that God is still enough, He is still our provider and the only ONE who sustains us in times of trouble. Andrew Murray describes this fight with self before we surrender very well in his book “Absolute Surrender’. Peter followed Jesus for years but his total surrender to the will of God only came after He denied Jesus three times. We see in Scripture how he wept bitterly when he came face to face with his own flesh and the realization that he can not do anything on his own after all. This is a good place to be, at the end of ourselves, where we surrender and God takes over. Paul came to that same place, as did many other people throughout the Bible. So the …

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Take Good Care of God’s Little Girl

You might remember my post a while back about my struggles to potty train and pacifier-wean my little girl. People kept telling me to relax, it will happen, and even though I’ve raised three kids before her, I was growing more skeptical as the weeks went by. However, today I can testify with great joy that it happened…all of it! I can tell that my husband is just as relieved as I am, because yesterday he came up behind me and gave me a big ol’ bear hug, saying “Thank you for taking such good care of our little girl” Of course this was super nice to hear and made me feel all warm and gooey inside, but it also made me feel strangely sad. I was sad because I felt God asking me ever so gently, in that special moment, if I was also taking good care of His other little girl: Heleen. I had to choke back the tears, because I know that I’m not always a good steward of my own body, mind and spirit. When a woman just had a baby it’s almost “natural” to forget about her own needs and just focus on the needs of the baby. Most new moms find themselves exhausted and frazzled soon after that little person comes into their lives. However, at some point in time, when our kids are growing up, we realize that it’s time to take care of ourselves again. Unfortunately most women with eating disorders stay in that place of self neglect and even self abuse. Many times we are people pleasers and perfectionists. We work our fingers to the bone for others and harm our own bodies in the process. We stay awake when others sleep, starve ourselves when others eat, work when others rest, and worry about …

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Time to Get Angry!

Maybe it’s time to get angry. I felt my blood pressure rise and a “holy anger” came over me while reading a few emails of ladies these past weeks. These were emails of pain, bondage, and hopelessness and while my heart was bleeding for each one of these precious women, I was also getting so mad at the enemy. I’m angry because of a vicious lie Satan has been using for ages to keep us in bondage. It’s the lie of “you can’t possibly come to God in this disgusting state that you are in” Do you realize how many women are kept in bondage daily because they believe: “I can only go back to church once I’ve lost some weight” “I will join that women’s Bible study once I’ve stopped gambling” “I will talk to a pastor after I’ve ended this relationship” “I can not pray while I still have these evil thoughts” “I can not read my Bible while I still yell at my kids” Ladies, IT’S TIME TO GET MAD AT THE ENEMY! We don’t have the power to save or change ourselves.  So if the enemy can just get us to believe the lie that we have to fix ourselves before coming to God we are trapped! I am adding this part about the prodigal son that I’ve posted before because it is so important to hear again. God is calling you, just as you are. You might be dealing with incredible pain, shame, or anxiety at this very moment. You might have just eaten so much food that you are in physical pain. Maybe you just purged and you feel shame hanging like a cloak around your shoulders. Maybe you are past all these feelings and you just feel a great numbness inside of you… Seriously, God is …

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Love is…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.   But the greatest of these is LOVE. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-13 (Today’s New International Version) Does the above passage make you uncomfortable? Does it strike you as something you will never be able to do? I agree, it’s much like the passage in Proverbs 31, it sets a standard that is very hard to come by. You might come away from this passage with a feeling of hopelessness. Who can love like this? We want to love like this, but honestly, even on a good day we might only get as far as being patient and kind. Actually, the love described in this passage refers to AGAPE love. We don’t have it, but we need it. We can’t produce this kind of …

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Can you say NO to YOURSELF?

Saying NO to other people remains a pretty challenging endeavor in my life. However, there is something that I find far more difficult: Saying NO to myself! Our pastor recently encouraged us to focus again on saying NO to our own flesh as we keep reaching for the things God asks of us. This is a powerful call to action and something any warm blooded Christian would agree to in a heart beat (that is when you’re sitting in the pew and everybody around you also agrees enthusiastically) Unfortunately the church pew is not where we live out the truth of our conviction. Soon after the above mentioned “call to action” I found myself head-on with my infamous “flesh” or  “sinful nature”. In those moments, I knew exactly what I had to do but I didn’t want to! It’s started in my quiet time: I was bringing an old wound before God that had just been ripped open; bitterness and anger came oozing out. I wanted revenge, but He suggested forgiveness. I didn’t want to! Later that same morning I started thinking about a certain snack. Soon after I found myself holding the particular snack in my hand. I knew I had no business eating it. I clearly heard the Holy Spirit nudging me to simply throw it away…  I didn’t want to! It was then that the previous day’s sermon came back to me. Here I was, my flesh rising up in all its glory, and the battle was on! What about you? Can you say NO to YOURSELF? We are getting pretty good at saying NO to others these days (thanks to the Boundaries books:) and our awareness of the enemy’s schemes are growing as we educate ourselves on resisting and rebuking the enemy. But what about that little voice inside …

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A Christmas Miracle for You…

A little Christmas miracle came my way! My 3 year old daughter had her first Christmas “performance” but during the dress rehearsal  she refused to be an angel or go on stage. I was certain that we had to wait another year. However on Sunday morning when it was show-time, she was up there with the dress, the wings, the smile, and even a few hand motions. Don’t you just love these moments? Tokens of God’s love for sure… I do realize that this little miracle of mine might seem tiny in comparison to the huge miracle you need from God in your life right now. So let’s talk about it for a second: What’s going on in your life? Do you need a miracle of healing in your body? Do you need God to perform a miracle in your marriage or your finances? How about a miracle of deliverance from food, alcohol, pornography or drugs? Maybe you’re stuck in a “prettier addiction” such as shopping, TV, internet or gossip. Let me say this: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT IT IS, OUR GOD IS BIGGER!!! God is calling you, just as you are. You might be dealing with incredible pain, shame, or anxiety at this very moment. You might have just eaten so much food that you are in physical pain. Maybe you just purged and you feel shame hanging like a cloak around your shoulders. Maybe you are past all these feelings and you just feel a great numbness inside of you… Seriously, God is waiting for you! He saw everything you did and He is still waiting and calling… The voices of condemnation, guilt and shame that you hear are not of God but from the enemy who wants to destroy you (John10:10) I would like to remind you today of our …

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One day I’ll be a Beautifull Butterfly…

I wonder if I’m the only one who tend to quote the caterpillar in A Bug’s Life? “One day I’ll be a beautiful butterfly and then everything will be better” This attitude is quite human but it’s also a very dangerous way of living. Most people with eating disorders tend to not live in the present. For people who struggle with food everything good will happen in the future when they lose weight. “As soon as we lose weight we will buy better clothes, go to women’s retreats, reach out to friends, and launch our ministries.” Sounds familiar? We really find ourselves in a vicious cycle because unfortunately we also disconnect from our bodies and we don’t live in the present with our eating. So we convince ourselves that we are going to start to exercise and eat healthy after Christmas, after our birthday, after this cold spell, or after this stressful situation. Putting life off like that is in fact putting off living! TODAY IS ALL WE HAVE! Look at your day today and you have a glimpse of your future… so if you want a different future it has to start today! Now for the question that might be on your mind: WHAT IF I CAN’T CHANGE?! This is a valid question. Some of us have become so strangled in our food struggle that we really don’t have the ability to turn today or our future around. However, there is ONE thing you can change today: How you spend your time. If you start making time for God, RIGHT NOW, you will discover the driving force behind change.   Permanent change is only possible through the Power of the Holy Spirit. The one thing you can change today is to find a quiet place and pray this simple prayer “Lord I want …

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