2012 – Year of Great Provision and Pain

I wanted to give a big shout-out to all of my faithful readers: Thank you so much for reading my very infrequent posts during 2012! It was indeed a year to remember, so please forgive me if I spend a moment reminiscing… My second son, Terrance, graduated from high school and started Bible College. My little girl started first grade and I took up the challenge of homeschooling her and my 13 year old son again this year. My husband started up a new business outside the family home, and we also celebrated 20 years of marriage just recently on 12/12/12. As many of you might have seen and heard, God also opened huge doors for my ministry this year. I had an opportunity to record small group material, Appetite for Freedom, which changed the whole face and even name of my ministry. What you may not know though is that ALL OF IT was ONE INCREDIBLE MIRACLE RIDE! I can still not even believe that it all happened in one year! I have had it on my heart for a long time to create material that ladies could use in small group setting. I have even had several churches, universities, and healing ministries ask me about this in years past, but never seemed to have the finances or resources to pull off the publication of a book and a professionally recorded DVD. Then my husband and I started attending a small group at our church in 2011 for businesses. Through a series of events, including a challenge from our church for small groups to reach out to the community, this small group that we’ve just joined offered to help us raise the funds and gather the resources to take my ministry to the next level. It came as such an answer to …

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Zumba Baby!

I’m breaking out of my tightly sealed exercise box! I’ve had enough and I’m breaking out! After seeing some of my friends embark on all sorts of exercise adventures this summer, and actually enjoying it, I knew it was time for my box to go. I’ve been feeling less motivated to get on the elliptical or go for a walk as the days went by, and I knew something had to give. A few weeks back a friend casually mentioned Zumba. Why didn’t anybody tell me about this before? It seems like everyone on the planet knows about it except me. When I mention it enthusiastically to others, they shrug it off with a “Oh yeah, so-and-so does it” or “Yeah, I do it”.  Now for the few of you out there who are as uninformed as I; it’s a class that combines all kinds of dancing from all over the world with loud music, and it promises to be super duper fun. In fact the slogan at zumba.com reads “Zumba, join the party!” So I sort of checked it out, and kept procrastinating for a few weeks before I finally mustered up the courage and went to a class. It was very awkward, as all first classes go, but lucky for me we had the most popular, prettiest, fittest, (and I’m sure youngest) instructor that evening, and oh my goodness, was she at her best! I had no idea what I was doing, my body absolutely refused to move in the way she proposed we move our bodies. I looked like a yard stick surrounded by spaghetti bodies. So I did the only thing I could do: I started laughing and I didn’t stop for 60 minutes. I laughed and I sweat and before I knew it the hour was over. I …

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Don’t let a binge ruin your life!

I have been getting a few heart breaking emails lately from ladies who have lost some weight on programs and now find themselves back in the clutches of binging and purging. If you’ve deprived your body, or yearned for certain addictive food (because you still need to deal with the idol in your heart) then you might find yourself binging again at some point (even after months or years of eating right). A binge is fertile ground for the enemy to come sow lies of shame and guilt. In that place we may start to believe that we can not recover from this binge, or that we might as well give up, or that our only option is to turn again to dangerous methods (starvation, purging, etc). I’ve re-posted this post here for you because it speaks of a way to become victorious over those binges and it has helped me and other ladies be victorious in this area. Please read this post to encourage you that we all fall, but THOSE WHO GET UP, refuse to listen to the enemy, and carry on, find victory. How do you prevent a Binge from turning into a whole day (or month) of overeating? A friend asked this question on our forum, and I realized that it is a very common question that I might best answer here on my blog. Of course it would be best to not binge at all. However, preventing a binge is easier said than done. If you are on a journey of finding healing for the root issues behind your eating disorder, you might not quite be at the place where you recognize the early signs of a binge (starting in the thoughts and emotions) and thus find yourself still binging from time to time. You can easily undo …

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Are you running from God?

I’m asking this questions ONLY because I’ve found myself in those running shoes (the kind that runs from the only One who can save me) quite a few times in my life. Why in the world do we do that? We know better! Most of us have gone around this mountain before, and we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that when all is said and done, there’s ONLY GOD, nothing else compares, and no one else can save us from ourselves. Nonetheless, when we’re back in the clutches of pride and denial we tend to keep running, even though we know we’re going the wrong way. Through the years I came to recognize that when I’m running, SIN is present, and like my very distant ancestors, Adam and Eve, I’m trying to hide it from an all-knowing-all-seeing God. Also, I may be running because I’m reluctant to give it up. Frankly, I may still love that sin and I’m afraid that God will pluck it from my hand if I came too close to Him. How about you? Do you find yourself binging mindlessly while trying to hide it from others and God (by avoiding Him)? Are you keeping yourself busy every moment of every day while ignoring the voice of the Holy Spirit? Have you put all your trust, time, and money into a food program and now the old familiar conflict between eating and being skinny is back? Are you shopping, working, and going out with friends to distract yourself from the emptiness inside?  Are you purging, restricting food, and going to the gym for hours? Are you avoiding people, spending long hours in front of the TV, or mindlessly surfing the internet? Are you running…? Listen, there is no condemnation from this girl, I really do understand. It’s …

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Kindness goes a long way…

I’m taking a break from all the craziness surrounding writing a book and recording a DVD. Who knew it’s so difficult to have 12 good-hair Tuesdays in a row! So today I’m just taking a breather to reminisce and pay some tribute to a  very special someone in my life. The one in the humble spotlight of my little blog is my second son Terrance. He just graduated from high school last week, and I can hardly believe it! I know, I know… it’s a total lame “mom-cliche” but I’m honestly never quite prepared for the roller coaster ride that me and my four kiddos are on. I love the name Terrance. Not only because it’s my husband’s middle name (and he’s a pretty cool guy) but also because of it’s meaning: Tender hearted. It’s such a sweet  meaning for such a strong name, and that is exactly what I can say about my Terrance. Never have you found a more tender hearted guy, coupled with a tenacious strong spirit. He is always fighting for the underdog, finding something good to say about the least popular person, and of course, defending his Dad in arguments where the guy is obviously unfairly matched (with me that is:). In the thirteen years that we’ve been in the US we were only able to go back to visit family and friends in South Africa once, now seven years ago. It was (of course) Terrance who cried on our plane ride back about every single person and animal that we had to say good-bye to. It just melts my heart to see him treat all people (especially the most vulnerable human beings among us) with such tender care and compassion. I know when he reads this he will be embarrassed and accuse me of making him out …

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Do you need a miracle?

  According to Oxford dictionaries a miracle is …”an extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore attributed to a divine agency” There are some areas in our lives where we just KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that we have NOTHING and we are in need of an “extraordinary and welcome event” that is beyond our human strength or even understanding. I know we don’t always get the miracles that we pray for, and we most certainly don’t always receive them in our time frame.  However, let me boost your faith a little today to keep asking and reaching for your miracle. God still has the final say in our lives, but even by surrendering our struggles to His divine intervention and time table, we receive peace and hope to carry on. Please read this post I’ve written a while back, to inspire you to keep reaching for your miracle.   What’s going on in your life? Do you need a miracle of healing in your body? Do you need God to perform a miracle in your marriage or your finances? How about a miracle of deliverance from food, alcohol, pornography, drugs, shopping, TV, internet, or gossip? Maybe you are unable to bring any change to a very difficult relationships in your life, and you need a miracle to just keep on forgiving and loving that person…   Let me say this: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT IT IS, OUR GOD IS BIGGER!!! God is calling you, just as you are. You might be dealing with incredible pain, shame, or anxiety at this very moment. You might have just eaten so much food that you are in physical pain. Maybe you just purged and you feel shame hanging like a cloak around your shoulders. …

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I CAN NOT do it!

  How’s your New Years resolutions coming along? Have you already failed at it? Maybe you didn’t even bother making any because it’s the same story of disappointment year after year…   I’m reading Andrew Murray’s little book “Absolute Surrender” again this January.  An age old message jumped out at me and hit me square between the eyes again: I CAN NOT DO IT! and the simple truth: GOD CAN DO IT! Read it for yourself: “And yet we are some of us wanting God to give us a little help while we do our best, instead of coming to understand what God wants, and to say: “I can do nothing. God must and will do all.” Have you said: “In worship, in work, in sanctification, in obedience to God, I can do nothing of myself, and so my place is to worship the omnipotent God, and to believe that He will work in me every moment”? Oh, may God teach us this! Oh, that God would by His grace show you what a God you have, and to what a God you have entrusted yourself — an omnipotent God, willing with His whole omnipotence to place Himself at the disposal of every child of His! Shall we not take the lesson of the Lord Jesus and say: “Amen; the things which are impossible with men are possible with God?”   Every time we make a decision that WE will accomplish something by ourselves, we dive right into a forever downward cycle. Let me illustrate this CYCLE OF EMPTINESS through a food struggle (it can really apply to any addiction or bondage) We have an emptiness inside that CAN ONLY BE FILLED BY GOD, and yet we try to fill it daily with food. We use food for various reasons (that are better …

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Christian Based Eating Disorder Treatment: Do you need it?

You might have seen my blogs about Christian based eating disorder treatment and wondered if you really have a  “problem”.  Maybe you just need another diet or need to pray more about this… This question of whether one really has an eating disorder is actually quite common, also in Christian circles. It is plain to see that a person with anorexia or bulimia needs help, but other eating disorders such as compulsive overeating or binge eating disorder tend to be outright denied or minimized by the person who struggle with this as well as the people surrounding her life. For years I wasn’t sure what to make of it either because as Christians we tend to do one of two things: ONE We look at our eating problem only from a spiritual perspective. We neglect to face the fact that God has made us stewards over our bodies and emotions: So we pray and we fast yet nothing seems to change and we stay stuck in a cycle of  promising ourselves and God that we will do better, just to fail again the next day. TWO On the flip side, we tend to totally deny that food struggles might have a spiritual root such as idolatry or gluttony. We play it down as something insignificant, something we have to take care of ourselves and not “bother” God with. We are convinced that we should just “find the right diet and get a grip” or “have some self-control already!” So we stay stuck in this place year after year, feeling condemned and convinced that we are “second-class Christians” Have you considered that what you are dealing with might be an eating disorder? You don’t have to vomit or sneak food to have an eating disorder.  A disordered way of relating to food can rear its …

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What will Motivate you to Stop Overeating or Binging?

Please read this quote from Phillip Yancey’s book What’s so Amazing about Grace? carefully. It contains valuable information as far as answering the question: What will motivate you to stop overeating and binging? The best reason to be good is to want to be good. Internal change requires relationship. It requires love. “Who can be good, if not made so by loving?” asked Augustine. When Augustine made the famous statement, “If you but love God you may do as you incline” he was perfectly serious.  A person who truly loves God will be inclined to please God, which is why Jesus and Paul both summed up the entire law in the simple command, “Love God.” If you are still going around the same mountain even though you’ve gone through counseling and found a solid food program, if you still find yourself bound in the chains of food addiction and eating disorders even though you’ve gone through my 12 Week Online Program and you’ve made great strides in dealing with past hurts, then it might be time to look at the MOTIVATION behind it all.   ONLY TRUE LOVE MOTIVATES OBEDIENCE Please read this excerpt from a previous post I wrote to find out how you can FALL IN LOVE AND BE CHANGED FOREVER!   In her well-known Bible study “Breaking Free” Beth Moore asks us to answer the following few questions to determine if we’re really in love with God: IDENTIFYING TRUE LOVE: Does God regularly circulate into my thoughts? (Ps 63:6) Am I often drawn to spend time with Him?  (Ps 27:4) Does my life demonstrate a love for God? (Rom 5:8) Do I often enjoy God? (Ps 16:11) Do I ultimately find relief or satisfaction in obedience? (John 14:12) How did you score on the TRUE LOVE TEST? Sometimes we really …

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This mom is not ready to let go…

He could always make my heart melt with his chocolate brown eyes. Even at age three he was a little grown-up with a huge vocabulary. People always smiled at the eloquent way the little guy spoke Afrikaans (our first language), and he wrote his first poem before he could spell.  My sweet little boy, Jean, is now a man of 21  who is ready to spread his wings and fly. He graduated from college, found a great job, and is looking for his own place to stay. It’s all so wonderful! Just one problem: I’m not ready… It’s not that I don’t want him to enjoy every minute of his new and exiting journey – because I do! It’s not that I’m not grateful – because I am so grateful for the positive direction his life is taking. It’s simply a matter of me not being ready to let go… Nothing really prepares us for this, does it? I’m not ready for his little red car to no longer be parked outside my window. I’m not ready to stop falling over his shoes in the hallway. I still want to see him snuggle with his little sister Christie, huddle over a piece of artwork with Jason, and I still want to lay in bed and hear him laugh with Terrance into the early morning hours. I’m not ready to let go of the long and rich conversation we have about anything from politics to pumpkin. I’m so not ready to cook authentic South African food without my oldest chopping, stirring, and adding things to age old recipes. I really don’t want to be a mother who keeps controlling until she’s resented, but I also don’t want him to think that I stopped caring. Because the truth is that I lay awake wondering, worrying, …

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