Do You Fear Rejection?

I was desperately afraid of rejection for the biggest part of my life. I was rejected early on for not being pretty enough, not quiet enough, and definitely not skinny enough. I was rejected by peers, boyfriends, and family members in both big and small ways. However, the most important rejection was one I was not even consciously aware of: I REJECTED MYSELF COMPLETELY. The fear of rejection became the driving force behind my vow to avoid rejection at all cost. I remade my appearance to the best of my ability,  and surrounded myself with “safe” people who would or could not easily reject me; mainly people with wounds, obsessions, and weaknesses of their own. I also made sure that I became irreplaceable in the lives of these friends, so they would never want to leave me. Through manipulation and lies I kept this all alive. I pleased, begged, fought, over committed myself, did things I hated, smiled when I wanted to cry, stayed awake when I wanted to sleep, had long talks when I had nothing more to say, bribed, gave advice, bent over backwards, and last but certainly not least,  rescued everyone around me. God saw all of this of course, and placed ever so strategically four little beings in my life who would challenge my authenticity from the start. They grew up way too fast, and as young adults refused  to any longer be coerced into Mom’s perfection and people pleasing. They wanted to spread their  wings and fly, and they especially wanted to love me on their own terms. So I felt again the stabbing pain of rejection that I carefully tried to dodged for so long. I cried before God, tried to think and rethink the situation, made a new plan, did everything I knew to keep the …

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10 Years Free from Bulimia!

Here comes one of my candid heart-to-heart posts. Forgive me for being too open at times, but I do think that you ladies deserve nothing less, seeing that I’m always encouraging you to be real. It’s difficult to spill the beans about my own life, but I do realize that God can only bless me, especially in this kind of ministry, if I’m honest with you all. Last month (July 2011) has been exactly 10 years since God set me free from diet pills and the binging and purging cycle of Bulimia! I am so grateful to God! It took a journey and a lot of healing, but there was a definite time when I knew something happened and that I would never be the same again. There’s a song that Darlene Zschech of Hillsong sings  “I will never be the same again…” I heard this song years ago when God brought freedom to this area of my life, and I have been singing it every since. I especially held on to the verse “There are higher hights, there are deeper seas, whatever you need to do, Lord do in me, The Glory of God fills my life and I will never be the same again” I am not very patient and the hardest thing that I had to do was to wait for God’s timing for my healing. I wanted it yesterday and I wanted it all done at once. It didn’t work that way. I had to learn to trust God with His particular “plan of healing” for me. I know He was trying to teach me patience, but He was really also testing my heart and testing my motives. I told you ladies before that my relationship with God consisted for a long time of me asking Him to make …

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2 Things will Break the Yoke of Food Struggles

I have just walked through my 12 Week Program with a group of amazing women of God. We’ve walked out this journey on our Members Forum. I hope to do it again soon, but even if you have just joined my program you can write on this forum topic and receive encouragement, prayer, and support. Week 12 of my 12 Week Online Program for Women Struggling with Food deals with 2 Crucial elements that will help us GO THE DISTANCE. We all know that this journey of overcoming food related issues is a journey of falling and getting up. There is victory for sure, but for most people it is a process. So in my last week I want to equip you with tools to help you keep going, and to make sure you know exactly what to do when you fall. 2 THINGS ARE SUPER IMPORTANT: CONSISTENCY AND SURRENDER Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson: In my years of struggling with overeating and bulimia I found two things that played a major role in my healing and gave me a huge shove toward victory and freedom on this difficult journey: CONSISTENCY and SURRENDER. I so wished and prayed that CONSISTENCY would come natural for me. It seems to me as if some people are just rigged for consistency from birth. I can’t help to envy my husband’s consistent nature. He does not leave a project unfinished and he will keep at something long after I have given up. It has greatly benefit him and especially our family through the years. So I know it’s a good thing to have, it’s just that I HAVE TO WORK AT IT! I discovered, after refusing to join the “consistent club” for the longest time, that if you …

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Temptation

Week 11 of my 12 Week Online Program for Women Struggling with Food deals with the issue of Temptation. We are discussing this on the Members Forum this week. Come learn how you can find victory in those moment when you are tempted.  Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson:   How do you find victory in your WEAK MOMENTS? I wanted to share this excerpt out of the new Breaking Free Bible Study by Beth Moore with you: “God has reserved momentous victories and great rewards for us. But we’ll never make it to our milestones if we cant’ make through our moments“ Isn’t that so true? We set these milestones and we even have faith for it – but then we get to that ‘MOMENT”, that excruciating moment of temptation or weakness, and we cave… and then we lose hope… SO HOW DO WE GET THROUGH OUR WEAK MOMENTS? Beth goes on to say that 2 reasons exist that we don’t take the “exit” God offers in our weak moments (1 Cor 10:13) 1. We don’t want to 2. We don’t feel like we deserve to We have to ask God in that MOMENT: “God I don’t want to stop eating, but please change my WANT TO” or “God I don’t think I deserve healthy food/taking care of my body, but please help me see that I am a princess of the only true King and I do deserve it” If you have been following along on our MEMBERS FORUM, you will know that I am struggling at this time in my life with “keeping my mouth under control”. Our family life has become very challenging because (as I mentioned before) my husband and I have a few businesses that we now run from …

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Controlling People and Situations can Feed you Food Addiction

We’ve just completed Week 9  on the forum that deals with PEOPLE PLEASING and CONTROL. If you find yourself reaching for food because of stress and turmoil in your relationships then this week might clear up a lot of issues for you. Please have a look at my 12 Week Online Program to find out more. Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson:   This past weekend I was reminded that self-control and controlling other people can not co-exist in my life. I was getting anxious about situations in our family and fell back into my old pattern of controlling people and circumstances. Of course I’m pretty good at “whipping” everything and everybody into shape, but things started unraveling fast inside of me. I was restless. I wanted to eat all sorts of things and I was avoiding God. Fortunately I’ve learned, through much tears and many heartaches, to recognize these patterns in myself. So I was back at the drawing board with God: The Bible clearly says that self-control is part of the Fruit of the Spirit and “should” thus be part of every spirit filled Christian’s life. According to John 15 we will bear much fruit (including self-control) if we are plugged into the vine (Jesus). So having self-control means staying close to God, OBEYING GOD, and daily asking the Holy Spirit to fill us and give us control of ourselves. However, no where in the Bible will you find any kind of command or even an indication that we are suppose to control other people and circumstances. Now if you are immediately thinking  “I’m not a control-freak” you might want to first read the following to make sure: Controlling can be blatant or subtle. Trying to please people and keep everybody happy doesn’t …

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Insecurities: Every Woman’s Battle

We’ve just finished up Week 6 on the forum – this week deals with exposing the lies of the enemy and the world around us, which tend to shape the way we view ourselves. It also helps you to pick up the truth of God’s Word and start viewing yourself as the Princess of God who you truly are.  Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson:   The BIG issue of INSECURITY! I must admit, I’m blessed beyond what I’ve imagined by Beth Moore’s latest book “So Long Insecurity:You’ve been a bad friend to us” She said so many profound things, but one simple sentence hit me hard: “Worship in it simplest form is FOCUS” I keep reminding all of you wonderful ladies that our focus needs to change from WEIGHT LOSS to HEALTH if we ever want to get out of this nightmare of eating disorders. However, reading this book and looking at my own life, made me realize that there is more. There is a “deeper level” if you will. Our focus will probably never shift from WEIGHT LOSS to HEALTH if we don’t first move our focus from OURSELVES to GOD. Beth speaks about a deep insecurity that plagues the lives of so many. I’ve known this to be true in my own life and almost every lady I’ve encountered that has a struggle with food. Deep down at the bottom of our beings lies an insecurity that drives us to please others, to strive for perfection, to stay in control of our surroundings and the people we love, and to maintain or reach a certain weight AT ALL COST! Way too much stress and pressure for one person! No wonder that same person will reach for the cookie jar at the end …

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EXERCISE: Sacrifice of Praise!

We are a group of more than 30 ladies walking out a 12 week journey on the forum. It’s not too late to join in or just read along. Here is a link to the Members Forum. If you are not a member you might be interested to click here for my FREE EBOOK: “God will I ever be free?” Click here if you want more information on becoming a member: 12 Week Online Program for women who struggle with eating disorders and food addiction This week (Week 5) we’re talking about Exercise. Here’s a re-post that deals with one of the most important issues surrounding exercise – WE HAVE TO EXERCISE FOR HEALTH – NOT WEIGHT LOSS! I know exercise might not be your favorite topic, it’s not mine either, but let’s face it: Spring is in the air and our bodies are itching to get moving, even if our minds are still glued to the couch! My battle in this area is no secret, so fortunately I don’t have to pretend with you ladies. For many, many moons exercise in my book meant only one thing: TORTURE! Every time I started using exercise to get rid of some unwanted rolls around my mid section, I found myself despising it with a passion. I would get up in the morning and mumble to myself “This is just not natural, nobody does this, I must be crazy…” Weekends were even worse… who would want to “spoil” a weekend with exercise? WHEN YOU EXERCISE TO LOSE WEIGHT: 1. You might use exercise as a dangerous method to “purge” after a binge 2. It might become part of your “diet-routine”, so you only do it when you’ve gained weight but you never seem to keep it up. HOWEVER, IF YOU EXERCISE FOR YOUR HEALTH THINGS …

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Choosing the right Food Plan for you

We’re on Week 4 on the forum and we’re looking into finding the right food plan for every lady.  This is a very personal issues, seeing that we all find ourselves in different seasons in our lives. God has the right plan for you and your unique situation. Do some research on different programs out there – the accountability and discipline is very important. REMEMBER: God can use any solid program to help  you break free from this disordered way of eating. However, if you don’t grow in relationship with Him and surrender this part of your life to Him, it will just be another diet failure. Please have a look again at my book on surrender if this is still a huge issue for you: “God will I ever be free?” Here is a previous post I wrote that goes well with this week’s lesson.   ABSTINENCE OR MODERATION?   In the world of Food Struggles the search for the “perfect treatment” continues, and in Christian circles the question whether one should be abstinent from certain food or learn to eat all food in moderation is an ongoing debate. What is a woman to do? Say goodbye to sweets forever, or eat every thing, but only one bite at a time? My Humble Opinion: Stop wondering about it and DO what you’ve gotta do girl! Actually, both of these “solutions” have merit: Gluttony, a sin that most ladies with food struggles deal with, is in itself a clear indication that we are dealing with eating too much and the solution should therefore be to repent and eat less, through the help of the Holy Spirit of course. However, a struggle with food also points to the sin of idolatry. Certain food can become an idol when we turn to it to make …

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Is Food Addiction for Real?

I promised to re-posting some popular posts related to the 12 Weeks of my Online Program as we go through it on the forum. We are currently doing Week 3  and the topic is Food Addiction. So here is this post again in case you want to read it one more time, or you have missed it the first time.   Living with the “Brain Fog” of Food Addiction People who struggle with Food Addiction use food in similar ways as others do drugs, cigarettes or alcohol. It is used to numb unwanted emotions and it actually does! If you have an overload of sugar, fat and salt in your system, you actually experience a “high”. It’s a state of mind where you just live for the moment, food is all that matters and for a few moments at least, it can make you forget about your sorrows. Of course you always regret it afterward. However, it’s not necessarily a deep regret that brings you to repentance, but rather something similar to the alcoholic who cries when he is in a drunken state. It’s usually feelings of self pity and self loathing, but unfortunately mostly not the deep sorrow that makes you want to turn away from the addictive foods for good. If you struggle with food addiction, you might recognize this pattern where you overeat at night, feel sick to your stomach, cry tears of despair, and promise yourself to never do this again, just to repeat the same cycle again the next day. It breaks my heart to see friends and family go through this cycle many times before they hit “rock-bottom”. I know the horrible feeling of utter failure. There is another side to addiction that causes people to stay in the same rut, year after year: The “Brain Fog”. …

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Surrender to God and Resist the Enemy

As many of you might know, I’m currently going through the 12 Week Online Program on the forum with a group of women. As a result I don’t have much time to write here on the blog, but I thought it might be a good idea to re-post some popular posts that apply to the specific week we’re dealing with on the forum. I’m re-posting this article (in step with Week 2 of the 12 Week Program) on resisting the lie of the enemy that we have to be “perfect” before we can come to God. This single lie can keep you in bondage for many years. Maybe it’s time to get angry. I felt my blood pressure rise and a “holy anger” came over me while reading a few emails of ladies these past weeks. These were emails of pain, bondage, and hopelessness and while my heart was bleeding for each one of these precious women, I was also getting so mad at the enemy. I’m angry because of a vicious lie Satan has been using for ages to keep us in bondage. It’s the lie of “you can’t possibly come to God in this disgusting state that you are in” Do you realize how many women are kept in bondage daily because they believe: “I can only go back to church once I’ve lost some weight” “I will join that women’s Bible study once I’ve stopped gambling” “I will talk to a pastor after I’ve ended this relationship” “I can not pray while I still have these evil thoughts” “I can not read my Bible while I still yell at my kids” Ladies, IT’S TIME TO GET MAD AT THE ENEMY! We don’t have the power to save or change ourselves.  So if the enemy can just get us to believe …

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