The Good and the Bad of being Busy!

I must admit, I have a need to stay busy all the time! It’s more than a need actually, for years I have equated busyness with power, prestige and value. Fortunately, God has brought about a lot of change in my value system and way of thinking, and these days I’m ready for a slower pace. However, moving at a snail’s pace without purpose or direction can cause other problems. Let’s have a look: The Good: I’ve written in previous posts about the absolute necessity for someone who struggles with food to find again her buried dreams and desires. Those dreams are given to us by God and it makes each one of us unique and our lives worth living. If we don’t follow our purpose and dreams, we will follow something else, even something destructive. So to get busy with your dreams is a GOOD THING! If you often find yourself bored, not interested in anything, tired, depressed and without purpose, you might have lost vision and purpose for your life. This is not God’s plan for you. Living in this hopeless state can cause a person to turn to food again and again. In fact, you might pick up many other idols along the way if you don’t find meaning and purpose in your life. Even good Christians who read their Bibles and pray daily can fall prey to idolatry if they don’t find joy in fulfilling the purpose God has for them on this earth. The Bad: Unfortunately anything we devout all of our time, energy, and money to can become an idol instead of bringing fulfillment to our lives. Take for instance this ministry I have for women who struggle with food. I’ve had this yearning to help other ladies for many years, but I wasn’t sure how it …

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EMERGENCY: I have to lose weight fast!

How do you feel when you get an invitation to a friend’s wedding, or to go on vacation with family, or to come out East (or West) for Thanksgiving? Does your stomach turn and your blood pressure rise at the very thought of it? Special occasions can be absolute torture for someone with a food struggle. The worst part;  it happens all the time! I receive emails of sheer desperation from ladies about this topic more than anything else: “How can I lose weight fast without jeopardizing everything “ The truth: This kind of anxiety is very dangerous. It will most likely make you look for a quick fix and a quick fix is just an accident waiting to happen. The good news: You can use this “occasion” to start your journey, right now, seriously, by grabbing on to God and asking for help (counseling or prayer) to lay down the food (junk food and addictive foods) that always drag you down. The bad news: You have to be honest with yourself, because it will be ONLY THAT, the start of a journey! Serious weight loss, without any regard for the consequences to your health and body, can not be your main focus. There are safe meal replacement programs on the market that I have used and that helped me lose weight pretty fast. However, if you only do this for a short time, without a coach or a support group, you are very likely to put the weight that you’ve lost right back on (and some). I’ m sorry that I have to be so blunt, but I can’t lie to women who have already suffered so much. If you didn’t deal with some of the pain from your past or present relationships, you will most likely reach for the quick fix …

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How to Get UP when you Fall…

Seriously, let me get this off my chest and let you off the hook at the same time: It’s not IF we fall, but rather WHEN we fall. All of the people around you that seem to have it so together and make huge successes of their lives have learned only ONE thing that you didn’t: HOW TO GET UP! We live in such a broken world, and yes it’s not fair that we have to carry our cross on our hips (literally) while others hide theirs under their tiny sweaters, but we all struggle with something. Everybody has bad days and EVERYBODY FALLS! If you have an eating disorder or struggle with food addiction you need to realize that RECOVERY IS A JOURNEY, and yes, the journey can be long and exhausting. In spite of great victories and years without sugar you might find yourself in front of the freezer, eating ice cream straight from the tub when life throws you a curve ball. Now don’t think for a minute that I don’t believe in miraculous healing. I believe that God can and will heal you from food addiction in an instant if He so chooses. However, if His will for you is to walk out your journey to freedom, then I would advise you to not live in denial, but rather arm yourself for the journey. To say “I will never, ever, ever fall for that again” is just setting yourself up for failure, self condemnation, guilt and shame. So now that we’ve established that you and I are not the only ones with wobbly legs, the question remains: How do you get up? What is the first thing that comes to mind after you have fallen and your eating is spiraling out of control? I’m not talking about the pre-fall-stage …

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Living with the “Brain Fog” of Food Addiction

People who struggle with Food Addiction use food in similar ways as others do drugs, cigarettes or alcohol. It is used to numb unwanted emotions and it actually does! If you have an overload of sugar, fat and salt in your system, you actually experience a “high”. It’s a state of mind where you just live for the moment, food is all that matters and for a few moments at least, it can make you forget about your sorrows. Of course you always regret it afterward. However, it’s not necessarily a deep regret that brings you to repentance, but rather something similar to the alcoholic who cries when he is in a drunken state. It’s usually feelings of self pity and self loathing, but unfortunately mostly not the deep sorrow that makes you want to turn away from the addictive foods for good. If you struggle with food addiction, you might recognize this pattern where you overeat at night, feel sick to your stomach, cry tears of despair, and promise yourself to never do this again, just to repeat the same cycle again the next day. It breaks my heart to see friends and family go through this cycle many times before they hit “rock-bottom”. I know the horrible feeling of utter failure. There is another side to addiction that causes people to stay in the same rut, year after year: The “Brain Fog”. Food Addiction, as other addictions, covers your brain with a numbness, causing you to make wrong decisions, lack sound judgment, and not hear the voice of God. In my life, the feeling of numbness toward God and my loved ones became one of the big warning signs that I am slipping back into food addiction. Huge amounts of sugar, fat and salt can literally sap all your energy, make …

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About Pasta Plates and Broken hearts

I just have to brag with our God a little: There is no one like Him, and there is no one that can see deep in the secret places of our hearts and bring about the most amazing healing! I had a funny day yesterday. I felt nostalgic and was walking down memory lane a bit. I met up with an old school friend on Face Book. We haven’t spoken in twenty years and my mind was back in 1988. The more I thought about my high school years and everybody I knew back then the more my anxiety level climbed. It’s not that it was all that bad for me. I wasn’t bullied, I had some friends and I did pretty good academically, but I wasn’t popular or even close to it. I was at best a happy-clappy-Jesus-freak-nerd. Now today I will carry that title with pride, but back then, not so much. After thinking about this for most of the morning, I brushed it off with a “Come on, those days are long gone, you have done well for yourself.” I carried on to recite in my mind the things I have accomplished, not that they were all that much or even that great, but it made me feel better. To tell you the truth, when I look back on my life I know for sure that God’s grace was the driving force behind every good thing, nothing else. I thought I was done with all this doom and gloom. For goodness sakes, I should take these thoughts captive, right? Well, it turned out to be quite the challenge on this particular morning. While cleaning the kitchen my thoughts went a different route. I was packing away my pink pasta plates. I’m afraid I bought these plates without really knowing what …

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“No fat chicks allowed”

I know, it’s awful! I cringe to even write this down, but I am outraged! This morning I stopped behind a truck and found myself face to face with this horrible bumper sticker. Sure, it’s suppose to be a joke, but I seriously had to pray for patience and self-control from on high to not back-up my mini van and ram into this young man’s truck. I know you have to consider the source: The other bumper stickers on this guy’s truck painted an ugly picture of disregard for women in general, but I was still upset. Actually I was more than upset, I was sad and angry. Sad for me and other ladies who struggle with food, but especially sad for our daughters, yours and mine, who have to face such cruelty. My heart was aching for young women in the death grip of an eating disorder. Seeing bumper stickers like these will make some girls vow to rather die than be overweight. Other girls might shrink back into a corner of depression and despair because they can’t get a grip on the ever increasing weight gain. I so wish I could clobber some sense into the heads of ignorant and insensitive human beings who spread the lies that your worth is all wrapped up in your appearance. I went online and found websites, bumper stickers and clothing devoted to the “no fat chicks cause” and I shuddered. I thought of so many overweight people I know who go along with it, making fun of themselves, pretending not to care, but they cry in secret… Let me remind you today: There are no fat or skinny chicks in God’s book. There are hearts, washed by the blood of His Son or not… Don’t give up girl, Jesus came to set the captives …

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Weekend, why does thou torture me so?

I love weekends! I look forward to them with high expectations of fun, romance and adventure. My Fridays are filled with anticipation, like opening one of Willie Wonka’s Wonka-bars, hoping to find a “golden ticket” or in my case, a “perfect weekend”. Week days have a tendency to rob me of all my joy. Slaving away to bring in the bacon (turkey bacon of course), and running around like a chicken without a head can suck the life right out of you. But oh (sigh), then there’s weekends… People walk around on Fridays with a bounce in their step, they greet each other friendly, and make some obscure comments about the weather. A total stranger will enthusiastically fill you in on her weekend plans in a check-out line. Bank employees are definitely friendlier, hey they might even offer you doughnuts and coffee on a Saturday morning. Now that brings me to the problem, actually two problems: 1. I expect way too much from two fairly ordinary days 2. Fun in my dictionary is the same as Food The one is connected to the other. If I try and eat right and exercise on a weekend, I’m already stifling the fun. So, I have to find a back-up plan so the fun can go on. I start looking around at my husband (who of course has his weekend expectations) or a friend (who’s plans didn’t quite include me) or a family member (who thought this weekend is a good time to dump some problems on me). None of this is helping. Any time now I can find myself wandering through the house (or better yet, the mall), scouting for a glimpse of hope, any indication that this weekend is not going to crush my dreams. Lo and behold, what do I find? Morsels of …

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