My Little Girl ripped up my Bible!

I guess things like these are inevitable when you have little kids. I recently paged through a Beth Moore study that I’ve done about 8 years ago and found pen scribbles all over the pages. This was done by the cutest little baby boy, who is now 9 years old. But this time it was my Bible! For crying out loud, is nothing sacred anymore?

I didn’t actually catch the little lady red handed. No she is quite the sneaky one. She loves to play on my bed, and always keeps herself occupied with some of my old jewelry that I keep in reach of her little hands for her enjoyment (and mine of course, I’ve had three boys before her remember:) So she went upstairs and I was calling her to hear what she was up to. “I play on Mommy’s bed” put me at ease and I didn’t check on her again until she came down after a few minutes. There was no sign of the big boo-boo Mommy’s Bible just suffered, she was just her sweet adorable self.

It’s only last night, after I tucked her in and kissed her rosy cheeks that I discovered the evidence. I picked up a towel that was laying on my bed and out fell a bunch of crumpled up pieces of paper. At first I had no idea what it was, it was thin paper, unlike the paper the kids use. Upon closer investigation the word “Genesis” jumped out at me. I was so shocked! I reached for my Bible where it laid innocently on my nightstand, and sure enough, pages ripped out and toddler art all over the book of Genesis.

Now I know I have to count my blessing: It could have been my whole Bible, but I was still sad. Amazing though how God will use just about anything to talk to us, it still blows my mind! There I was, crying over the state of my beloved Bible, when He simply said “I am so glad that you love my Word enough to cry over it”
My heart leaped and memory washed over me of an amazing time in my life, about nine years ago, when I fell head over heals in love with the Savior of my soul. For the first time in my life I actually wanted to read the Bible. I didn’t feel that I had to or I will go straight to hell anymore. It didn’t feel like a chore anymore. I didn’t feel guilty anymore about not getting “time in the Word” ticked of my list of things to do. No, I wanted to. I yearned for the Word of God when I didn’t read it for a while and when I finally got to read it I would press it to my heart and thank Him so much for His Word.

Let me assure you that I am not the lucky one. God wants all of us to feel that way about Him and His Word. Legalism has put God in a box and made fellowship with Him feel like a duty rather than a joy! You can also fall in love with God in a way that you never dreamed of. I found that loving Him was the true reason behind my freedom and the only way I still stay free from Food Addiction.

In Week 2 of my 12 Week Online Program for women struggling with food I talk about how all of this happened in my life and how you too can have an intimate love relationship with God. Nobody ever gave up an idol because someone forced them to do so, but we freely give it up if we find a greater love that can fill all of our deepest desires. Think about it…

As for my little girl… I showed her my Bible the next morning and explained that it was not a nice thing to do and that it made me sad. She wrapped two chubby arms around my neck and said “Oh, I’m sorry Mommy!”
You know it… all is forgiven and forgotten… who can resist a little face like that…

Kids and Worries

Face it, the two go together like fish and chips, or peanut butter and jelly (in America). If you have kids, you have had some worries.

I have heard it being said that we waste half of our lives worrying about things that never happen. This could easily be true for me, especially when it comes to my kids. Today I was pondering on this worry-pattern that I have going. I saw my 9 year old laying on the couch, reading a book. This warmed my heart and brought a smile to my face, because for the last 3 years, since I started teaching him to read, I have been worried: Will he ever be able to read fluently? Will he ever love reading? Will he ever read a whole book on his own?

This is not the first time I went through this. I have four kid, and for crying out loud, you think that I would have learned something by now. I remember distinctly being very worried about my eldest son when we moved to Oregon about five years ago: Would he forever be scarred by this move? Will he ever make close friends again? Is this going to ruin him? Well, of course he’s not ruined. In fact he has more friends than ever, loves God and is a thriving 19 year old.

I remember pushing the kids to get involved in music: What if they could have been famous musicians and I just didn’t push them enough? What if I ruined their future because I couldn’t afford music lessons? Well, lo and behold, my middle son just one day picked up the guitar and started teaching himself to play. He is now on a worship team and loves to play without any help or motivation from Mom.

 

So, I should stop, right. No such luck! I have a two year old and I am already worried that she will never get potty trained, never stay in the church nursery without crying about Mom, and never learn to count to ten without leaving out 4 and 8.

 

Oh well… fortunately God made mothers, so I know he gets us. However, he does remind me quite frequently to cast my cares on Him. And when my anxiety levels climb too high, he calls me into his presence so that I can make all my needs known to him through prayer, petition and thanksgiving. Then, of course, peace follows as I am reminded that they are after all God’s children first, and I can trust him to take good care of them. I am also reminded that prayer is the most powerful tool God has given me as a parent. Worry doesn’t accomplish anything, but bringing my precious kids to the throne of God has always made all the difference in the world…

Sister, you’re not alone!

Just thought I would let you know that if you are having a difficult day, or if you are still struggling with the same old stuff after many years: You’re not alone.

I was reminded of this when I did my Bible study today in the late afternoon (and you thought I always get it done early in the morning:) I was surprised to read a very honest piece written by Beth Moore about how difficult and sad her life can be at times. It made me feel better, not that I want her to go through any of those things, but I tend to put famous and influential women on a pedestal, forgetting that they too are only flesh and blood. There are lot of Spiritual qualities in Beth and other women that I admire and that I desire to have in my own life, but sometimes it helps my heart to hear that I’m not the only one who has off days.

So I thought I would encourage you: You’re not alone. We are sisters in Christ and we can encourage each other with our spiritual gifts, but also with our honest acknowledgment of our own humanity. So be blessed today to know that I too get tempted, sometimes I overcome, and sometimes I don’t. I too get sad and sometimes God lifts me out of it in a moment and other times I have a journey to complete before I get over it. Whatever you’re going through, you can be certain that somewhere on this planet another precious sister in Christ is going through the same thing.

The good news: We can make it, because we have Jesus and we have each other! Even though I might not personally know you, I pray that you will be blessed and God will bring along a friend in your life that can be both a Holy example and a real shoulder to cry on when things get tough.

5am: The Hour of Horror!

You can probably tell from the title that I started getting up at 5 am. It’s terrible! It’s dark and gloomy and everybody is still asleep and I feel so sorry for myself.

I started doing this for the last couple of weeks because I have had sick kids and there is no way I can get to the gym or have some alone time with God when I have to tend to the poor little sick ones. So I chose to get up before the crack of dawn and get it done.

Of course Mondays are the worst. This morning I dragged my sorry bones out of bed and felt waves of self pity sweep over me. I was convinced that I have invented some form of self torture, and just like every other morning during the last two weeks I couldn’t help but wonder “How is this worth it?” While pulling on my sweats I started making plans to get out of this hour of horror. I would go through every excuse and every alternative in my mind.

You would think that once I reach the car I would feel much better and my mood would change, but no such luck. Ice on the windows and a sleepy neighborhood is not exactly the best mood lifter. So I shiver all the way to the gym, and lo and behold what do I find: Lots of people, awake at this terrible hour, walking, sweating and running like you won’t believe. At that point the self pity started to vanish a bit. If I want to look good, feel good and have a good day, I guess there is a price. So I gave the receptionist a weak little smile and started walking the treadmill, armed with my scripture cards, ready to give the enemy a kick in the head.
Half way through my routine all thoughts of hating exercise and quitting left my mind. I felt good, I was going to be okay, life is not that bad after all.

And when I left there at 6:30, what do you know, the sun was up and the world looked beautiful. I felt God’s touch in the early morning breeze.
The best part for me: Exercise is behind me and I’ve put my spiritual armor on at the same time. I don’t have to worry about that for the rest of the day. This day sure looks promising…

My son’s offering

IMG_0443Today my 9 year old son did something that made me so happy.

I guess he was thinking about God for a few days, because he’s been asking questions about the rapture and he told me out of the blue that he really likes God. Now make no mistake, he has his moments, so little tokens like this makes me a very proud and happy mommy indeed.
He made a tiny basket and attached it to a helium balloon that we had floating around after a New Year’s Eve Party. He wrote a tiny note to God, wishing Him (God) Happy New Year and also told Him that he loved Him. I felt so privilege that he asked me to come and see the balloon float to heaven, and we ended up having a little church right there in our back yard. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I needed a touch from God, a special touch, and I got it. Right here, in the most unexpected way. While watching the balloon turn into a tiny speck, I imagined I could see the smile of God fill the heavens. I was so aware of His presence, His greatness and his love for me and my son in that moment.
Aren’t you grateful for times like this. It keeps us going, it gives us new hope, it strengthens our faith that waver so easily. I don’t want to seem greedy, but I found myself asking for more tokens of affection like that. In fact I’m sure I miss many of those, I don’t want to, I need to be reminded that God loves me and that He’s beauty is all around me.

Look for the little tokens of His love and beauty this year, it’s all around you too.