The Miracle of a Soft Heart

So happy to finally get back to blogging. A long stretch of influenza and some unrelenting coughing caused me to take a two week break from the webinars. However, it seems that a person can actually cough and type without too much effort, so I thought I would write to you ladies instead.  2013 has been a memorable year for my family and I. Not because of great milestones I’m afraid, but because of deep valleys and a great miracle along the way. So today seemed like a good day to tell you about it… For a while now I’ve been observing a heart of stone in one of my loved ones. It breaks my heart over and over again, to see someone once so filled with love and zeal for the Lord now so bitter, angry, and stumbling around in the dark. I have talked, cried, prayed, fought, begged, and pleaded with God for months, and then finally I stopped. It might have looked like surrender on the outside, and I even uttered the intention of surrender to a few friends, but only God knew what really happened… my heart became hard as well.  It’s amazing how gradually this can happen. Over a period of time we start relying on our own efforts again. We start making plans for our food struggle, our lost loved ones, or our circumstances. We start trusting in those plans, and when they inevitably fail, we become discourage, angry, bitter, and numb…  You may know exactly what I’m talking about. We can not deny the fruit of a hard heart. According to Luke 6:45 “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” My mouth was …

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No masks allowed! Gotta “GET REAL”

To finish your journey of breaking free from food addiction, you will need a few key elements. One that made all the difference to me is bringing TRUTH back into my life. You can not afford to wear a mask anymore. You need to GET REAL in the full sense of the word in order to complete this journey. I was in a very legalistic church for about four years. Not the “in your face” kind of legalism, but rather the kind that almost intoxicate you, drawing you into the relentless pursuit of “sticking to the rules” without you even realizing it. I always felt awkward and out of place. Unlike me, the other moms were so skinny and well put together. The few odd ones that didn’t quite qualify as one of the “beautiful people” somehow didn’t make it into leadership. At one point the church went through a major split and many yucky things were revealed. I realized for the first time that this nagging feeling of inferiority that I had (because of a few extra pounds on me) didn’t exactly aid me in my pursuit to freedom or holiness. I never told a soul about my struggle with food, because no one ever spoke about their struggles, and no one ever admitted to being “only human”. Everybody was so spiritual, so driven to win the lost, so focused on not wasting time with frivolous things such as building friendships or finding personal healing. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for evangelism, but I also know that God never intended for us to stop being real, give up on friendship and neglect our hearts. I never felt so alone in a congregation and I never felt so incapable of ever overcoming my food addiction. You see I had to …

Read moreNo masks allowed! Gotta “GET REAL”