ONE difference between the FREE and the CAPTIVE

I regret that I have not been able to get to my blog much because of a way too busy life. I apologize to all you ladies who are faithfully reading my blogs. I’m praying for the season to change, but for now the answers I receive are more along the lines of God changing my heart and not so much the season (sounds familiar?) I’m afraid yours truly are always in need so of some more open heart surgery under the skillful hands of the Master Surgeon. I’m really not complaining, on the contrary, it’s a good season even though it’s difficult. I’ve been stretched and grown in directions I didn’t even realize existed. My husband is still working from home and we have our hands full with balancing work, home school, and just life in general. I’ve been wanting for a while now to answer a question on here that many of you have asked and that I have pondered on and researched for many years: Why do some women break free and others don’t? Why can a group of women go through my program, or through 21 days of detox on the forum and some are victorious while others just can’t seem to make it. Now, there is of course no easy answer to this. Some ladies have deep layers of abuse and pain from their past that first need to be revealed and healed by Jesus Himself. Others have a root of bitterness and unforgiveness that prevents them from growing in God or moving forward in any area of their lives. This can only be fixed by a healthy dose of repentance and falling in love with the One who knows how to break the hardest heart and heal the deepest pain. The question remains though: What if you’ve …

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ONE “SOBER” DAY can turn things around

Are you tired of people telling you to “take it one day at a time”? The truth is undeniable: TODAY IS ALL  YOU HAVE! TODAY WILL SHAPE YOUR TOMORROW AND AS A RESULT, YOUR FUTURE. But let’s face it, dealing with TODAY is not easy. It’s easier to spend today planning and shopping for that “perfect plan” or “perfect diet” than to actually CHANGE TODAY. So that said, let me get to the more important matter of “HOW ??????? How do you change TODAY?“ Let’s first of all look at your today… Are you thinking about how and where you can get your hands on diet pills (even some “natural” pills? Are you desperately looking online for a new diet that actually WORKS? Are you watching hours of TV while crying and eating at the same time to just not think about this anymore? Are you wondering again if God cares and if you’ll ever be free? Are you binging and hiding in your house again, afraid that people will see how much weight you’ve gained? Are you finding yourself in a cycle of binging, purging, and hating yourself again? Are you afraid to write on the forum or email me because you feel like you’ve failed me and yourself again? LET ME SHOUT THIS FROM THE ROOFTOPS: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! There are so many ladies from around the world, some of them living around you, that feel exactly the same. Some of the brave ones write to me or on the forum, but most of them are hiding, too ashamed to show their faces, let alone live their lives. But don’t give up yet, there are also many ladies living around you who have had ONE SOBER DAY! These girls are coming out of hiding. Even after one day, they feel …

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Can Facebook Pack on the Pounds?

Let me immediately kick off with a disclaimer: The title of this post was meant to grab your attention, I obviously didn’t mean to imply that the entity “Facebook” can (in a direct way) have anything to do with anybody’s waist line. I also want to assure you that I am in no way a Facebook hater, on the contrary, like many others I found Face Book to be a great source of communication with friends and family locally and especially over seas. So why write this post? Well unfortunately, if you struggle with food or any other addiction for that matter, you might be adding Facebook to a long list of “‘mind numbing activities”. In other words you might be using certain objects or forms of entertainment to escape from reality and put off dealing with your problem. If you want to break free from this struggle, it is crucial to learn to live in the present moment. You can not afford to put off surrendering this struggle to God until tomorrow or even for one hour! Every moment matters! The way you live TODAY is a clear indication of what your future will look like. We have to take back our lives with the help of the Holy Spirit, and it’s impossible to do if we constantly “disconnect” from our minds and bodies. The enemy would like nothing more than  to bring an innocent little thing such as Facebook into your life and use it to entangle you. Many people with food struggles find themselves spending hours on Facebook, in front of the TV, on weight loss websites, or on forums. Now most of you ladies already know that I have a Facebook page, a blog, and a forum for this ministry. These things can all be used powerfully by God …

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What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Okay, guilty as charged, I’ve been looking over Rick Warren’s shoulder again. I mentioned on our Members Forum that I’m doing the 40 Days of  “The Purpose Driven Life”  – AGAIN! Now don’t despair for me just yet, it’s not that I keep forgetting or that I”m still searching for the purpose of my life. I simply get so swept up in the rat race of life that I tend to wander off course. I forget what”s really important and I get caught up in the mundane grind of life, moving forward without any purpose or joy. So I’m sorry that I have to drag you along on my journey of re-focusing, but this is where I’m at right now, and I thought a few of you wonderful ladies might need a little reminding as well. These few key points of Rick in DAY 3 got my attention again: Common things that drive our lives: 1. Many people are driven by guilt 2. Many people are driven by resentment and anger 3. Many people are driven by fear 4. Many people are driven by materialism 5. Many people are driven by the need for approval He goes on to say: “There are other forces that can drive your life but all lead to the same dead end: Unused potential, unnecessary stress, and an unfulfilled life” There is nothing like “unused potential, unnecessary stress and an unfulfilled life” to make people reach for something to bring “meaning” or “joy” to their lives (food, tv, porn, alcohol, drugs etc) Don’t fall for the enemy’s lie that you just have to stay away from sin and you’ll be okay. Our lives are not about fighting off the enemy day after day. Yes, we are at war and we have to fight for our dreams and hearts, …

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What if you’ve tried EVERYTHING and NOTHING worked?

I’ve been asked this question many times before so let me try and shine some light on this matter. Most ladies who struggle with compulsive overeating and binge eating have literally tried everything you can think of to lose weight. They’ve tried fad diets, healthy food plans, diet pills, and other dangerous methods of purging, without success. They’ve tried to eat only when hungry, count points, prayer, counseling, and yes, many have tried my program… without success. Why? How can it be that after you’ve tried EVERYTHING, you are still dealing with the same stuff? Like I’ve said, I know the feeling, and this is the conclusion I’ve come to in  my own life: I DID NOT DO EVERYTHING I COULD! It was the only logical explanation, and it might be for you too. When I stopped denying the truth  I had to admit that there was ONE thing I didn’t do: OBEY Now please don’t stop reading just yet. I know nobody likes to hear about obedience.  Obedience is not easy and not much fun (just ask your kids), BUT IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY LIVE IN FREEDOM. If we disobey God and think we’re bossing ourselves, we’re fooling ourselves. The Bible clearly says that we are being ruled by the enemy if we’re not under God’s rule (Romans 6) It’s the one or the other, there’s no neutral ground. Have you tried obedience yet? I’m talking about wholehearted obedience to the Word of God and the voice of the Holy Spirit. Only you can answer this… There are so many advantages to obedience. According to the Bible we remain in God’s love and joy  if we obey Him. John 15: 10-11 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands …

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In the Eye of the Storm

I want to apologize to all my loyal readers. I have not been able to write on my blog much recently simply because I find myself in the midst of  one of life’s unforeseen storms. My husband lost his job a few weeks ago and like so many others in this situation waves of uncertainty, anxiety, and financial stress rocked our boat pretty bad and left me feeling sick to my stomach. I guess you can say I’ve been given a good old fashion faith test. Do I practice what I preach? Will I actually lean on God when it matters most? Of course my type A personality will never allow me to simply sit back and wait patiently. I always first have to try my best to save a person or a situation. But in the end, after much kicking, screaming, and striving this girl always comes face to face with her own limitations. This is the place where I finally throw in the towel and hand the reigns to God.  I’m happy to report that God is still enough, He is still our provider and the only ONE who sustains us in times of trouble. Andrew Murray describes this fight with self before we surrender very well in his book “Absolute Surrender’. Peter followed Jesus for years but his total surrender to the will of God only came after He denied Jesus three times. We see in Scripture how he wept bitterly when he came face to face with his own flesh and the realization that he can not do anything on his own after all. This is a good place to be, at the end of ourselves, where we surrender and God takes over. Paul came to that same place, as did many other people throughout the Bible. So the …

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Hanging with the Girls

I have a confession to make: I don’t do well in groups and for this reason I tend to avoid “girly gatherings”. Make no mistake, I want to hang with the girls, I do in fact hang with the girls, but I’m always sort of … awkward. I had an opportunity to spend time this past weekend with some of my amazing girl friends. We attended a simulcast of Beth Moore on her latest book “So long Insecurity”. It was wonderful, the Spirit of God was moving and I was so grateful that I’ve pressed through my “awkward problem” to be part of what God was doing in the hearts of thousands of women in that specific moment in time. In fact, the only reason I did not make some kind of excuse was because I hoped and prayed that Beth might shed some light (as the title of her book indicated) on my little problem. It turns out my problem was not so little or so peculiar after all: Over 300 000 women showed up across North America to listen to Beth’s message on how to get rid of insecurity I’ve already written a little about her book and how much it blessed me in a previous post, but something stood out to me: Insecurity has wormed itself into so many areas of our lives that we’re not even aware of. Not only is it my INSECURITIES that makes me feel awkward and as a result act quirky when I find myself in a bigger group of women, but it follows me around like a shadow. So I need to find ways to correct my vision ALL THE TIME: Taking my focus off myself and putting it back on Jesus, where it belongs. Beth came through with a few practical points that …

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Take Good Care of God’s Little Girl

You might remember my post a while back about my struggles to potty train and pacifier-wean my little girl. People kept telling me to relax, it will happen, and even though I’ve raised three kids before her, I was growing more skeptical as the weeks went by. However, today I can testify with great joy that it happened…all of it! I can tell that my husband is just as relieved as I am, because yesterday he came up behind me and gave me a big ol’ bear hug, saying “Thank you for taking such good care of our little girl” Of course this was super nice to hear and made me feel all warm and gooey inside, but it also made me feel strangely sad. I was sad because I felt God asking me ever so gently, in that special moment, if I was also taking good care of His other little girl: Heleen. I had to choke back the tears, because I know that I’m not always a good steward of my own body, mind and spirit. When a woman just had a baby it’s almost “natural” to forget about her own needs and just focus on the needs of the baby. Most new moms find themselves exhausted and frazzled soon after that little person comes into their lives. However, at some point in time, when our kids are growing up, we realize that it’s time to take care of ourselves again. Unfortunately most women with eating disorders stay in that place of self neglect and even self abuse. Many times we are people pleasers and perfectionists. We work our fingers to the bone for others and harm our own bodies in the process. We stay awake when others sleep, starve ourselves when others eat, work when others rest, and worry about …

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Do you Believe?

Have you prayed to be set free from food addiction for years? Have you asked God to heal your child, repair your marriage, supply finances, or give you your heart’s desire for a long time? After all this time, you might be telling others that you still trust God and you have faith, but somewhere along the line, you stopped believing… You can be honest with God you know. He already knows what you are thinking and what is going on in your heart. Unfortunately unbelief is one of those “poisons” that creeps up on us. We don’t wake up one morning and BOOM! no more faith. It usually happens gradually as we keep falling into the same sin, keep waiting for an answer, or keep praying for the same thing year after year. Remember the woman with the issue of blood who only received healing  after enduring many years of suffering? One thing about her hits me every time I read that passage: She had faith…she literally crawled through the crowd to touch the hem of His garment because she was convinced that if she could only touch His clothes, she will be healed. Dearest woman of God, I beg you not to give in to unbelief. Unbelief can keep you from your miracle, your freedom, and your growth along the way. Be honest with God, then repent from unbelief, and ask Him to restore your faith. You are in step with the Word if you ask for faith: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1 NIV) “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6 NIV) …

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Time to Get Angry!

Maybe it’s time to get angry. I felt my blood pressure rise and a “holy anger” came over me while reading a few emails of ladies these past weeks. These were emails of pain, bondage, and hopelessness and while my heart was bleeding for each one of these precious women, I was also getting so mad at the enemy. I’m angry because of a vicious lie Satan has been using for ages to keep us in bondage. It’s the lie of “you can’t possibly come to God in this disgusting state that you are in” Do you realize how many women are kept in bondage daily because they believe: “I can only go back to church once I’ve lost some weight” “I will join that women’s Bible study once I’ve stopped gambling” “I will talk to a pastor after I’ve ended this relationship” “I can not pray while I still have these evil thoughts” “I can not read my Bible while I still yell at my kids” Ladies, IT’S TIME TO GET MAD AT THE ENEMY! We don’t have the power to save or change ourselves.  So if the enemy can just get us to believe the lie that we have to fix ourselves before coming to God we are trapped! I am adding this part about the prodigal son that I’ve posted before because it is so important to hear again. God is calling you, just as you are. You might be dealing with incredible pain, shame, or anxiety at this very moment. You might have just eaten so much food that you are in physical pain. Maybe you just purged and you feel shame hanging like a cloak around your shoulders. Maybe you are past all these feelings and you just feel a great numbness inside of you… Seriously, God is …

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