I read about this lady who claims to have no “adventure gene” and I laughed so loud! Oh my goodness, she was talking about me! I’ve tucked this little secret away, hidden from the eyes of my friends who are adrenaline junkies and nature lovers, but I think it’s time for me to come clean on this one…
I really wished that I liked all the adventurous things in life, but seriously, I don’t! Not that I didn’t try. When the pressure is on and you have to impress one will act like you are a regular dare devil, but seriously though, I’m not!
So I’ve gone snowboarding! Ugh! I tried windsurfing! Oh boy! I even ventured out on a motorcycle (as a passenger of course) and cruised the mountain passes at 200km/h (not miles!) Let’s just say that I was young, in love, and seriously desperate to impress. There were the times when I stayed at the beach for a whole day, almost killed myself on a surf board, burnt my very pale skin to a crisp and suffered for many, many moons. Yeah, you know it, I did not like it! I even went on big, scary roller coasters and pretended to have fun, but where, I beg you, is the fun in almost having a heart attack!
Did I mention that I’ve tried camping, with the mosquito bites, the dirt everywhere, the scary sounds, the zero bathrooms and the lack of sleep. No offense to all you campers out there, but it’s a nightmare!
People have been trying to convince me of the existence of this “adventure gene” in me since I was a kid. I remember vacations in the Kalahari dessert, going up and down sand dunes in a jeep without any regard for my motions sickness! I wouldn’t even talk about the hunting, I’m still trying to forget. Did I mention horse back riding? I don’t know who was the most terrified, me or the horse. I even rode calves when I was younger! What was that all about!?
Don’t think for a second that I have a chip on my shoulder. To tell you the truth, I admire all the adventurous people out there. This explains the lost years of trying to forge this non-existent gene. I so desperately wanted to be adventurous, but seriously, I’m so not.
I think I may finally, as the big 40 is creeping closer, be ready to give up, smile, and enjoy the slow ride. It’s not that I don’t like people, but I love to mingle with them in a more natural habitat, like the mall! It’s not that I’m not fond of animals, but they are so peaceful in the zoo. It’ not that I dislike water and sand, but I prefer to enjoy it from a distance, in a sandbox or a swimming pool. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the ocean, but I would rather walk on the beach, pick up shells, or just sit on a rock and meditate on life, while the sun is not so very bright. I seriously believe camping can be fun, but in my backyard, with the toilet and the microwave close by.
People are still talking to me about bungy jumping, rock climbing and river rafting. These days I say “wow!” and block their emails. I’m just kidding, I’m not that brave yet, but I do decline politely, mumbling something about “too old” and “weak knees”.