What do you want?

Please humor me and give this question a little thought…

What is it that you really want?

I felt the Holy Spirit whispering this question in my ear recently. This question came at a time of great restlessness, anxiety and sadness in my own heart. If I had to be truthful, what I really wanted was for life to be “perfect”. My kind of perfect would include more money so that we can work less and have more fun with our kids… so we can go on vacation…so that we can stop stressing…so we can have more meaningful relationships with friends and family…

I was blurting all of this out while laying in my room, with the window open, looking at the big pine tree in our back yard swaying in the wind. I could almost hear God’s tender voice in that wind, asking again “What do you truly want…”

It made me cry, because I remembered…

I remembered when the only thing I wanted was to get married and be loved… I remembered when all I wanted was to be a great worship leader… I remembered when all I wanted was to please other people… I remembered when all I wanted was to be super Mom… I remembered when all I wanted was to be thin and beautiful…

I also remembered of all the times I became so obsessed with the desires of my heart that I’ve sinned in order to get what I wanted… I remember the emptiness and the sorrow of being separated from God…

God is the one who gives us desires to do certain things. The desire to write a song, open a restaurant, get married, raise children, be a career person, create a beautiful garden, run a marathon, it all comes from God. If we can give these back to him, without exalting it to an unhealthy place of obsession in our hearts, it can be something so beautiful…

What is it that you want…?

What will make you happy…?

Can it be that when you get what you’ve always wanted, it will not be worth it. If you have to have something so badly that you sin to get there, and you lose your relationship with God… how would that work out for you?

Here are some red flags

  • Do you think about your “want” all the time?
  • Have you lied to keep it alive?
  • Have you hurt people to keep it alive?
  • Have you sinned to get what you “want”?
  • Are you obsessed with getting this “want”, no matter what?
  • Does this “want” steal your peace and occupy your thoughts?

How do you let go?
By HOLDING ON to something (or Someone) else… I know, I know, you’ve heard this so many times and it still might not make sense to you. BUT IT’S TRUE – AS LONG AS WE’RE NOT REALLY SATISFIED WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST, WE WILL LOOK FOR REPLACEMENTS SOMEWHERE ELSE.

So let me ask you something else: Are you satisfied with Christ?
I’m not asking if you go to church or have a ministry… I simply want to know, if you were asked the question “What do you want?”  can you truly say (maybe after digging a little deeper like I had to) “Jesus is all I want”

Don’t feel bad if this is not the case. Just know that it can be so for you. It all starts by finding your own quiet spot (maybe where a soft wind is blowing) and ask Him to give you a true desire for His presence and His Word. If we start reading the Word, not out of obligation, but our of love for God, it changes us. When we start praying, not because we should but because we WANT to, a real relationship starts forming and before you know it the power of God is released in your life in ways that you’ve never even dreamed of.

Please email me if you want to talk more about loving God with all your heart. I feel very strongly about the fact that we can not break out of addiction or habitual sin without FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE ONLY TRUE GOD!

In His amazing Love



An older song of Hillsong “More than Life” speaks of that love for God that IS AVAILABLE FOR ALL!!!






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11 thoughts on “What do you want?”

  1. Preach it Sister! I believe once we settle this in our hearts once and for all — knowing Jesus Christ personally and having daily communion with Him — will we ever know and experience true satisfaction in life. People all around the world are looking for the secret to life. The answer is JESUS, nothing and no one but Jesus. Thanks for spurring us on Heleen!

  2. Thank you for your words. They inspire, challenge and move me closer to where my heart needs to rest.

    Far away on some days. But most days, I find the eating addiction is what brings me to my knees.

    \’Tis a journey. A journey with purpose.

    God IS enough. Digging for that treasure with you.


  3. Dear Heleen,

    So true what you have written above. This addiction can only be fought when i make a choice to exalt God as the only and true Lord of my life.
    On Saturday, i read Psalms 23 and from “The Lord is my Shepherd” I asked myself whether i can truly claim that it is the Lord that Shepherd’s, guides, directs etc my life, and truly for a long time it has been the food. That it is only when i completely allow God to Sheperd my life then can i flow in the benefits and promises that follow in the verses. May the Lord be our only Shepard.

  4. This is so true my precious Heleen!
    Like the woman at the well I was searching for things that could not satisfy, but then I heard my Saviour calling,
    “Come to My well that never shall run dry”.
    Thank God I responded and and allowed the Holy Spirit to take me back to Jesus who is my peace!!
    I can honestly say, after 15 years of captivity, Jesus made me whole again and now I have perfect peace, love and joy!!
    He is faithful even when we run from him and turn to other gods to make us feel better.
    Thank you Jesus!

  5. Hi precious Helen, this is so true…..I know that all I ever need is Jesus. Right now I need the desire to want more of Him by reading His word daily. I just do not have the desire to read the Word. Please pray for me to desire it more. I asked the Lord to put a drawing on my heart to know Him more, but I am not desiring to read the Word more. What else can I do.
    In His Name

  6. Dear Eleanor,
    Getting involved in women’s Bible Studies really helped me grow in the Word. Seeing other ladies zeal for the Scriptures inspired me, and the accountability helped me to be consistent. The consistency in turn created a true appetite and love for the Word. You will find lots of Bible Studies that I recommend on my website. Look under “Suggested Reading List” or “My favorite websites and blogs”.
    In His Love

  7. Yes – I can only agree Heleen. Thank you for you words of encouragement, but I still feel so utterly helpless and lost. I have been trapped for the best part of ten years. Half an hour ago I… purged. Right now I’m just numb and emotionless. Jesus IS all I need – so why am I still stuck like this? It’s so selfish of me.

    But I praise Jesus. He is good and I know that once I have fully submitted to His perfect will I shall be whole again. Thank you for reminding me.

    God Bless.

  8. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart (which will be what you are delighting in incidentally)—kind of a lovely round about. Ps 37:4

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