When the pastor changes into a hamburger…

If you struggle with food, you won’t think this is a strange line. In fact you probably never heard anybody say this out loud, but I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about.

If the enemy tempts me with food that I haven’t eaten for a long time and don’t intend to eat again (I’m talking about deep fried, sugar laden fast food) during the week, then he puts in an extra effort on a  Sunday morning. I rush to get myself and the kids ready, so I don’t eat a decent breakfast on a Sunday. I have learned a long time ago that some protein takes me much further in the mornings than anything else. I could go twice as long on an egg or some nuts added to my cereal than any other type of food. But on Sundays I tend to have a granola bar and banana on my way to church. Nothing wrong with that, except that by 10pm my stomach is growling and the Pastor is taking on some suspicious shapes.

This morning though, I felt such joy flood my soul. God reminded me of all the years I would feel hungry and then either start thinking about all the things I’m going to binge on that afternoon, or I would rebuke myself because I would be on some restrictive diet. I would always feel so trapped, so cheated and probably end up binging on some junk food that afternoon anyway.

It’s not like that anymore. God has brought me far, and I am so grateful! There is truly nobody as grateful and filled with joy than the captive being set free. It’s because we know about that horrible pinned down feeling of despair and hopelessness and not having that anymore is like manna from heaven.

When the Pastor takes on edible shapes these days, I can put a hand on my growling stomach, take a deep breath and smile. I’m gonna be okay. I can go home and eat a decent meal, get to the park with the kids, write something and go to bed without depression and anxiety laying on me like a wet blanket. I don’t have to lay awake, trying to figure out how I can change my life around on Monday. I don’t have to repeat this cycle week after week anymore.

God is good. Let me assure you that he never planned for you to stay in this pit. You can get out. Go have a look at my story of overcoming bulimia and food addiction.

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